Category Archives: Creativity

Herbie: My new car has this really cool feature.  They call it a dome light.

Alice: What?

Herbie: Dome light.  It’s inside the car, see, right above your head, and it turns on automatically when you open the door.  It’s a great idea.  Every car should have one.

Alice: They do.

Herbie: See?  Someone is paying attention to me already.

Alice: What a whiz.  You should start playing the stock market.

Herbie: Why didn’t I think of that?  I should buy a few shares of Ford.

Alice: Or you could just open and close the car door and enjoy the show.

Herbie: Oh come on, don’t be that way.  What’s the stock symbol for Ford?

Alice: Could it start with an F?  Just a thought.

Herbie: Whoa! What is this lever about?  I think I just opened the hood.

Alice: Yep.  You really know how to impress a girl.  Do it again.

Herbie: But the hood’s already open.  Never mind, I’ll just go out and close it again.

[Herbie opens the door and the dome light goes on.]

Herbie: Damn, that’s cool!  Does your car do this?

Alice:  [Sighs.] It does, Herbie.

Herbie: Do you have a Ford too?

Alice: Herbie, I’m cold, why don’t you get back into the car?

Herbie: But the hood is open.

Alice: Herbie…

Herbie: Yes.

Alice:  Close the door, Herbie.  It’s cold in here.

Herbie: OK.

[Herbie closes the door and the dome light goes out.]

Herbie:  It’s dark in here.

Alice:  That’s right, the way it should be.  Now warm me up.

Herbie:  Damn, what a great invention.

We all know Toucan Sam™, the Froot Loops® mascot.  Turns out, Sam is not a good spokesbird for the brand.  How do I know?  I am a scientist.  I conducted a study.

Background: The study began yesterday morning when I decided to have a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast and discovered I was out of them.  The only cereal in the cupboard was a long-abandoned plastic container of Froot Loops that we bought when our niece last visited.  So the cereal is what, just eight or nine years old?

Naturally I poured some in a bowl, added milk and took a bite.  They were terrible.  I mean, more so than usual. Think of tropical-flavored garden-sprayer hose.

Something inspired me (maybe the spirit of Toucan Sam) to imagine that the birds might enjoy this “treat” more than I did.  So I sprinkled the rest of the cereal over the picnic table where we put our bird feeder in the winter.  Some sunflower seed was already there.

Observations:

• Morning doves are voracious eaters but they simply trampled over the Froot Loops and only ate the remaining sunflower seeds.

• Titmice and chickadees landed on the table, looked down, then flew away crestfallen.

• A curious cardinal walked up to an orange-colored Froot Loop.  She tilted her head at one angle, then another, then pecked at the piece and hopped back, startled.  She then walked in an arc around a green-colored Froot Loop, making sure she kept several inches away.

Conclusion: Birds not only dislike Froot Loops, they appear to be afraid of them.  My guess is that their color and shape remind them of some kind of poisonous or parasitic worm.

Recommendation: For the sake of truth in advertising, the Kellogg Company should retire Toucan Sam as the Froot Loops mascot.  Suggestion: Replace him with Joe The Plumber.

The only bird that likes Froot Loops is fictional — because the cereal itself doesn’t look real. I’m glad that bona fide birds have a lick of sense in those Sugar-Pop-sized brains of theirs.

Graffiti on a wall at the River Arts District in Asheville.  I’m tempted to print this one large.