Category Archives: Life

[Today’s post is a direct rip-off of Sidney J. Harris‘s columns of the same name.  I am not the first and won’t be the last to do so — it is hardly the most original idea — but a tip of the hat to Mr. Harris in any event.]

⊛ In 1793, the French Republic rejected the royalist/religious calender of its times and adopted the calendrier républicain.  Day One of the new calendar was September 22, 1792 (or 1 Vendémiaire I) to mark the day the Republic was born.  The months were all given new names (Fructidor, or giving fruit, is my favorite) along with each day of each month.  Years were designated by Roman numerals, which turned out to be less unwieldy than one might fear: the calendrier lasted only to Year XIV.  Had that calendar persisted, and had my parents lived in France, The 100 Billionth Person would have been born on 22 Ventôse (Windy) CLXI, on Percil (Parsley) day.

⊛ I was surprised to learn that the Pittsburgh Pirates, winners of the 1960 World Series, played a rare tie game in the regular season that year, so their season record was 95-59-1.  I thought they might have been the only World Series winner with a regular season tie, but I was wrong.  The 2016 Chicago Cubs, who won the World Series vs. Cleveland that year, played a 1-1 game on September 29 that was suspended after 6 innings due to bad weather. As the game lasted five innings, it was an “official game” and could have been ruled a tie.  Instead, the league simply wiped the game off the books, as its outcome did not affect the final standings.  This Chicago Cubs non-tie was played against… the Pittsburgh Pirates.

⊛ Is there an English word that means “next to next-to-last”?  Yes — antepenultimate.  This describes, for example, the 60th episode of Breaking Bad, in which Hank dies in a desert shoot-out.  That episode was titled “Ozymandias” based on a sonnet by the English poet Percy Shelley in 1818.  Ozymandias in turn was the Greek name of Egyptian pharaoh Ramesses II, who had the longest reign of all Egyptian kings.  We could keep on walking down Association Avenue, but let’s turn to my penultimate item instead.

⊛ The other day as we were Netflixing The Long Riders, a 1980 western, I began to notice how rarely the actors and, especially, the actresses blinked their eyes.  It was eerie to watch an actress stare at her eyeline (film-speak for focal point) as if possessed.  This led me to look up the typical rate of human eyelid blinking: about every 6 seconds.  But that is trivia; the more interesting thing I learned is that infants do not produce tears until they are one month old and that they only blink once or twice a minute.  So, we are all born actors!

⊛ As my faithful readers know, I’m sort of a map nerd.  Earlier this spring, I ordered from our library How the States Got Their Shapes by Mark Stein (2008), to satisfy my curiosity about the seemingly arbitrary alignments of various state borders.  The thing I learned was how the institution of slavery — those striving to preserve it pitted against those hoping to contain it — played an outsized role in setting the borders of states west of the Mississippi.  But the thing I learned while learning that thing was how Idaho Territory, formed in 1863 in the midst of the Civil War, became a Confederate (later, Southern Democrat) stronghold for almost two decades.

After the Battle of Gettysburg (July 1863), the Union Army marched southward.  Refugees from the battle states fled northwest to Idaho Territory, lured by the news of gold strikes.  Those ex-Southerners brought their Confederate sympathies with them, as evidenced by the various Confederacy place names in present-day Idaho, e.g., Atlanta, Dixie, Leesburg, and Secesh River.  (Secesh was not a Nez Perce word for caribou but rather the shorthand of its time for a Southern secessionist.)

Not long after the Civil War, the Idaho World of July 24, 1867, heralded the publication of The Lost Cause, a 750-page book by pro-Confederacy writer and editor Edward A. Pollard.  Pollard described slavery as a “system of servitude [which] elevated the African and was in the interest of human improvement” and called his Southern brethren to remain steadfast and take their fight to other arenas:  “The Confederates have gone out of this war with the proud, secret, deathless, dangerous consciousness that they are THE BETTER MEN, and that [nothing was] wanting but a change in a set of circumstances and a firmer resolve to make them the victors.”  The editor of Idaho World wrote that he had “no hesitation in warmly commending the book to all our readers as a faithful, interesting, ably written volume.”

And so were those poisonous seeds scattered and sown.

⊛ Postscript: I had always wondered why the diamond-shaped District of Columbia had a northeast (Maryland) sector but no southwest (Virginia) sector.  The reason, I learned, was again related to slavery.  Alexandria was the northern hub of the U.S. slave trade.  It had been included in the lands that Virginia ceded to help form D.C.  But in 1846, slave-owners forced the U.S. to recede the land to Virginia, so that Alexandria’s slave trade would not be subject to D.C. law.

If the lands that Virginia ceded in 1790 still belonged to D.C., the D.C. population would easily exceed one million, greater than that of six and possibly seven other states, each of whom enjoy representation in Congress from two Senators and one House member.

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Karsten's Driveway Signature

Or, how to turn 20 sticks of chalk into 43 pieces in less than 10 minutes.

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My last Thoughts at Large post included the casually-made claim that I could name 700 major-league baseball players.  In my original draft of the post, that number was 800-900; after further consideration, I lowered it to 750, then finally 700.  I figured:  I had followed baseball for 60 years as an on-and-off fan of the up-and-down Pittsburgh Pirates — surely I could name 700 of the 15,000 or so players who have taken the field in the last century.

That said, I must admit that I am more of a Pirates fan than a baseball enthusiast per se.  When the Pirates aren’t competitive (which for 25 years now has generally been the rule), I don’t pay much attention to them, the other teams, or the league’s star players.  So, any list of players that I could come up with would necessarily be heavily weighted toward the Pirates teams that made the post-season, along with the notable same-league opponents from those competitive years.

Armed with this understanding, I decided I owed it to my readers to put my claim to the test and see if I could actually name 700 major-league ball players.  I would be relying on memories from several sources:

  • Radio and TV broadcasts of Pirates games in the 60s and 70s, with play-by-play provided by Bob Prince, Jim Woods and Nellie King.  These include the games our family listened to on our Sunday drives as well as the late-night West Coast games that I managed to pull in on my bedside transistor radio.
  • Topps baseball cards.  I didn’t have an allowance when I was a kid, so a five-pack of baseball cards (plus gum!) seemed like a luxury.  But when I did plunk down my dime, I only wanted Pirates cards.  The real obscure cards (like Gene Leek) got attached to my bicycle frame with clothespins, to clack against the spokes.  Even so, I made sure to study the stats on all the cards.
  • The World Series Encyclopedia (1903-1960).  I’m not sure how I came into possession of this book; I suppose that my dad picked it up at a used-book emporium in Youngstown or Pittsburgh.  In any event, when I was 10 or so I consumed this paperback cover-to-cover, learning about Deacon Phillippe (who pitched in five games for the Pirates in the 1903 World Series) and the unassisted triple-play by Cleveland infielder Bill Wambsganss [sic] in the 1920 World Series.
  • Pirates YearBooks.  Back when rosters were more stable than they are today, teams dared to publish glossy-page booklets at the beginning of the season, with photos and stats of the players a fan could expect to see that year.  I pored over all of these too.  Years later, at a card and memorabilia show, I would get Bill Mazeroski to autograph my 1961 YearBook, which recounted the Pirates 1960 World Series victory.
  • Pirates box scores and the National League batting leader lists in the newspaper.  I read these daily when I was a kid.  I always wanted a Pirate to lead the league in average or RBIs or home runs, even if the team itself wasn’t winning, to justify my irrationally unwavering support.  (Still do, sorta.)
  • August 6, 1989Sunday, August 6, 1989, when three generations of the Collins clan went to the Camera Day game at Three Rivers Stadium.  We got to go onto the field before the game and take pictures of various Pirates players circulating among the fans.  The game itself lasted 18 innings, had a 45-minute rain delay, and was ultimately won when Pirates 3B Jeff King hit a leadoff homer.

So that’s primarily where my player memories came from as I got to work on my listing.  To keep my self-challenge on the up and up, I sequestered myself from baseball news while I searched my memory for names.

I made a few ground rules for my search.  (Incidentally, the term ground rule originated with baseball and only later came to be used more generally.)  First, I decided that both first and last names were required.  Otherwise, I could just say “Williams” or “Jones” and easily pick up 30 or 40 players.  No, a memory needed to be a memory.  So I did not add Dave Abernathy to my list, being that his first name is actually Ted.

That said, I gave myself leeway on spelling.  For example, I took credit for remembering Doug Granville (his name is Glanville) and I added Yadier Molina to my list even though I botched the spelling of Yadier.  On the other hand, I denied myself Paul Molitor because I remembered his name as Monitor.  That seemed to cross a line.

I also decided that I would not add managers or coaches to the list unless I was positive that they also had major-league playing careers.  That means I did not add Walter Alston, Sparky Anderson or Fred Hutchinson to the list, even though I was reasonably sure they were also players.  (After-the-Factoids:  It turns out that Alston had exactly one at-bat in a major-league game.  Anderson played just one season in the majors.  Hutchinson pitched in 242 major-league games over 10 seasons.  The three men managed at the MLB level for a combined 60 seasons.)

Ball Players Named Bob for $600, LeVar

I started out by listing all the 1960s Pirates I knew from the YearBook that I memorized (and Mazeroski autographed).  I proceeded to the Pirates who played in the team’s other post-season years, and then the stray Pirates from the team’s many and long interregna.

As my recall of Pirate player names began to run dry, I turned my focus to the rest of the player-universe.  I started out rummaging my memory team-by-team, but I found that the more productive way to recall players was by first names.  Though that approach wouldn’t work so well to unearth a Yadier Molina, say, it did deliver quite a few Bobs and Bobbys (5.8% of my list) as well as Jims (4.5%) and Daves (2.8%).

Some player names came to mind by indirect association: P Zane Smith (Pirates) led me to 3B Dick Gray (Cardinals) via the novelist Zane Grey; P Woodie Fryman (Pirates) brought to mind SS Bud Harrelson (Mets) via the actor Woody Harrelson.

But my free-associations weren’t always spot-on.  For instance, I was convinced the Pirates had a pitcher named John, or Bob, Kibler — I wasn’t sure which.  When I checked, I found that John Kibler was an umpire in the 1971 World Series (won by the Pirates) and that the Pirates never had a pitcher named Kibler.  It came to me that it must have been Kipper… and yes, there he was on the roster (1985 to 1991), so I added Bob Kipper to my list.

I was astounded by some of the names I did recall.  For instance, in what recess of my brain did I stash the name of Rawly Eastwick, the Reds relief pitcher from the mid 1970s?  Or Frank Bork, who pitched 42 innings for the 1964 Pirates in his only MLB season?

I was 11 when Bork was on the roster — his name was buried in my neurons for 57 years.  Frank Bork is now 81.  He does not get a full MLB pension due to his short service time.  (Sorry about that, Frank… but take heart, at least you have been remembered.)

Then there were the players whose last names I knew but whose first names escaped me. The pitcher (First Name) Burnette made me think of country-western star Smiley.  And the outfielder (First Name) Garr steered my thoughts to comedic actress Teri.  (The first names were A.J. and Ralph, respectively.)  Which brings me to Ichiro, whose other name I not only failed to recall, I wasn’t sure which of his names it was.  (He is Ichiro Suzuki.)

So, how did I fare overall?  The figure (right) tells the story.  I was able to list about 220 names the first day, but I soon fell victim to the law of diminishing returns.  I could only recall half that number the second day, with each successive name taking me longer and longer to retrieve.  I realized that I was not going to reach 700 players in one week, and maybe not even in one month, so I agreed with myself to stop the effort at 400 names.   While I’m sure my brain contains the names of many more players, there has to be some time and energy limit on recalling them.

Curious readers may click here to see the 400 ballplayers I could name.  The list indicates which players ever played for Pittsburgh (41% of them) and the players who are deceased (44% of them).  If you want to try this challenge yourself — and I can’t fathom why any of you would — then I’d suggest you hold off checking my list until you’ve finished your own.  Otherwise you would be getting a substantial head start.

Some of my fellow baseball fans will scan my list and say, “How could you not remember (Player X)?”  Yes, I am sure that if I picked up a sports page from the 60s or 70s right now, I would see dozens of familiar baseball names that I was somehow unable to extract from my memory banks on demand.  This serves to illustrate the difference between storing and retrieving memories, and how some things can feel familiar when re-encountered without being memorable.  The cover of the World Series Encyclopedia (pictured above) is a good example of that.  The only thing I had remembered about it was the green background, but once I saw the cover illustrations (which I retrieved via Google, the world’s memory bank), it all came back to me.

There you have it.  Although I failed my 700 baseball player challenge (and mea culpa for my inflated claim), the attempt was at least engaging, and it gave me an excuse to raid my old-photos drawer.  Now, if only my blog posts were as memorable as Frank Bork.

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