Traditionally, those who occasionally enjoy Chinese take-out also engage in the game of opening their fortune cookies, reading their fortunes aloud and then appending the words “in bed” to whatever the fortune foretells. Hilarity and/or embarrassment entails, if the game goes according to script.

I’m here to present an updated version of this game, which I think will appeal equally to liberals and conservatives and those who dislike Chinese take-out, albeit for very different reasons.  Here is how you play my update of the Fortune Cookie Game.  After dinner (or whenever the group agrees that it is time to play), players visit the website of either the New York Times or the Washington Post and select a random headline — preferably one that doesn’t call for much scrolling or selectivity.

The player reads the news/editorial headline that he/she selected, then dutifully appends the words, “and Trump doesn’t care.”

Here are some examples pulled from today’s headlines, with my gameplay added:

“Trump Order Could Cripple Federal Worker Unions Fighting DOGE Cuts… and Trump doesn’t care.”

“The gutting of U.S.A.I.D. is likely to hinder recovery efforts in Myanmar… and Trump doesn’t care.”

“Nearly All Institute of Peace Staff in the U.S. Are Fired… and Trump doesn’t care.”

“Secret Pentagon strategy memo on China, homeland defense has Heritage Foundation fingerprints… and Trump doesn’t care.”

“The president promised scientific breakthroughs.  Researchers say he’s breaking science… and Trump doesn’t care.”

“A militant Zionist group threatens activists online with a ‘deport list’… and Trump doesn’t care.”

See how easy this is?  It’s almost as easy as falling into bed.  When appended to a liberal newspaper headline, the phrase “and Trump doesn’t care” turns a troublesome assertion into a profundity that is liable to find support from both sides of the political spectrum.  There is power in this.

So, can my “And Trump Doesn’t Care” party game help unite liberals and conservatives in a light-hearted re-examination of our partisan divide?

Nah, I don’t think so and I doubt you do either.  What a waste of a good game idea, in bed.

There, fixed it.