[To be read slowly, along with the music…]
Coldfinger!
He’s the man,
the man with the megabucks,
he pays to hush.
He’s the man,
the man with the megabucks,
he pays to hush.
And those small fingers
beckon you
to look past the man he is
and vote for him!
beckon you
to look past the man he is
and vote for him!
Hateful words he will pour in your ear
and his lies will play into your fears.
For his crony fools know when he twitters
It’s the kiss of death from
Mister…
and his lies will play into your fears.
For his crony fools know when he twitters
It’s the kiss of death from
Mister…
Coldfinger!
Pretty girls,
beware of his grab and hold —
his hand is cold!
Pretty girls,
beware of his grab and hold —
his hand is cold!
He will promise to make us all great —
what he does best is make us all hate.
As his lawyer knows (or really, his fixer),
it’s the kiss of death from
Mister…
what he does best is make us all hate.
As his lawyer knows (or really, his fixer),
it’s the kiss of death from
Mister…
Coldfinger!
John McCain
is free of this petty troll.
He has no soul!
John McCain
is free of this petty troll.
He has no soul!
His heart has a hole
Lowly troll…
He loves gold,
his name spelled in gold.
Lowly troll…
He’s so cold!
Lowly troll…
He loves gold,
his name spelled in gold.
Lowly troll…
He’s so cold!
With love and respect to Shirley Bassey, John Barry, Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley for a fine song.
if only he had the Midas touch and could turn himself into a little gold poop emoticon
There are actually a lot of parallels here. Say a real villain has captured a British agent and wants to kill him. Two bullets to the head at close range would be the standard formula. A cartoon villain? He would tie the agent to a laser cutter, tell him all his secret plans, set a time bomb, and then leave, figuring there’s no way the agent could escape. But of course Bond always escapes.
Similarly, a real president with something to hide would fire the head of the FBI as soon as he got into office and just say it was routine house cleaning. But a cartoon president would fire the head of the FBI, then tell a reporter on a national television news program that he did it because of the Russia investigation, and the next day, invite two senior Russian officials to the Oval Office, joke around with them, tell them he fired the FBI guy because he wouldn’t drop the Russia investigation, and give them some top secret intel from Israel for good measure. I just wish it was a movie like Goldfinger. And I hope Mueller always gets his man.