Thank you, thank you all for taking time from your busy schedules and trophy wives to attend this “How to Be Rich” class. Let’s get right to it. Dim the lights please? Great. Here’s our first video. If you click on it, you can watch the original commercial. Please do.
I hope you all noticed a few important things as you watched this commercial. Anyone? Yes, you, the fit salt-and-pepper-haired man in the back? No, I meant the one just in front of you. Yes, go ahead, sir. You’re right, the man in the video does look like Mitt Romney. He also looks a little like you, sir. Yes, and like you, the gentleman in the next row. Yes, OK, and you too. OK, yes, like many of you. OK, please put your hands down, everyone. Let’s move on.
The bagpipe music in the background might have distracted you from the fact that the gentleman in the video is not only sitting in front of two large monitors but also his own expansive waterfront vista. He gets to look at this every day. Did you see the binoculars resting on the window frame? The man enjoys watching migrating waterfowl when he is isn’t trading stocks, which means, not very often. Class, make note of this. The waterfront is for show, as are the binoculars. When you are rich, you do things for show, or shall I say, you have things for show that you do not do, and all your friends know you don’t do them. This is Lesson #1 in “How to Be Rich.” Please tell your personal assistant to dictate this bullet point into her iPhone.
The next thing I want to point out is the dog, the gentleman’s faithful trading companion. The dog appears to be an English Pointer, but the fact it is a hunting dog doesn’t matter. Because, like its master, it does not hunt. If you are rich and about to make a good trade, your dog will look up to you, encouragingly. Dogs can be trained to do this — talk to me after the class and I will hook you up with a pet professional. Yes, sir. OK. You don’t have a dog? Not one? That’s an issue. I assumed most of the class would have two dogs — show of hands? Sir, sir, don’t walk out, it’s OK. See me after class and I will hook you up with a pedigree dog breeder. No problem, let’s move on.
Our all-important Lesson #3 almost goes without saying. You know (even if your friends do not) that no one gets rich trading stocks. Your “just comfortable” friends don’t get it. Everyone in this class already knows that the people who make money trading stocks are the brokers and dealers, not the traders. Stock trading, if I need to remind you, is another of those things that is only for show. Pump your fist when you make ten thousand, then pat your dog when you lose twenty. It doesn’t matter — you wouldn’t be trading if it did. That is the real message of the video. You’re already rich, so start acting like it!
Class, we’re running out of time here, so for next week, your assignment is to actually read this week’s issue of Barron’s that is sitting on your office desk. I know, Barron’s is just a right-wing stock tout, but when you’re rich, you sometimes have to talk a good game, and Barron’s can help you with the talk. So, see you all next time. Now, sir, about your dogs.
Thank you, thank you all for taking time from your busy schedules and trophy wives to attend this “How to Be Rich” class. Let’s get right to it. Dim the lights please? Great. Here’s our first video. If you click on it, you can watch the original commercial. Please do.
The bagpipe music in the background might have distracted you from the fact that the gentleman in the video is not only sitting in front of two large monitors but also his own expansive waterfront vista. He gets to look at this every day. Did you see the binoculars resting on the window frame? The man enjoys watching migrating waterfowl when he is isn’t trading stocks, which means, not very often. Class, make note of this. The waterfront is for show, as are the binoculars. When you are rich, you do things for show, or shall I say, you have things for show that you do not do, and all your friends know you don’t do them. This is Lesson #1 in “How to Be Rich.” Please tell your personal assistant to dictate this bullet point into her iPhone.
The next thing I want to point out is the dog, the gentleman’s faithful trading companion. The dog appears to be an English Pointer, but the fact it is a hunting dog doesn’t matter. Because, like its master, it does not hunt. If you are rich and about to make a good trade, your dog will look up to you, encouragingly. Dogs can be trained to do this — talk to me after the class and I will hook you up with a pet professional. Yes, sir. OK. You don’t have a dog? Not one? That’s an issue. I assumed most of the class would have two dogs — show of hands? Sir, sir, don’t walk out, it’s OK. See me after class and I will hook you up with a pedigree dog breeder. No problem, let’s move on.
Our all-important Lesson #3 almost goes without saying. You know (even if your friends do not) that no one gets rich trading stocks. Your “just comfortable” friends don’t get it. Everyone in this class already knows that the people who make money trading stocks are the brokers and dealers, not the traders. Stock trading, if I need to remind you, is another of those things that is only for show. Pump your fist when you make ten thousand, then pat your dog when you lose twenty. It doesn’t matter — you wouldn’t be trading if it did. That is the real message of the video. You’re already rich, so start acting like it!
Class, we’re running out of time here, so for next week, your assignment is to actually read this week’s issue of Barron’s that is sitting on your office desk. I know, Barron’s is just a right-wing stock tout, but when you’re rich, you sometimes have to talk a good game, and Barron’s can help you with the talk. So, see you all next time. Now, sir, about your dogs.