From the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, April 6, 2011:

“An eighth grader at Arsenal Middle School escaped serious injury on Monday when a classmate set his pants on fire with a lighter he said he found in a bathroom, an arson investigator said Tuesday.  The 14-year-old boy was charged with arson and reckless endangerment.”

First: an arson investigator?  Really?  Someone thought this was a case of arson?

Second: you no doubt made note where the incident took place: Arsenal Middle School. Great school traditions.  The basketball team mascot is a hand-grenade.  Ninth-graders with a B average get to use tasers.  The senior class song is “Hunka Hunka Burning Love“.