• Sarah Palin loves The Constitution, as it guarantees her freedom of screech.

• I like it that a person can doodle or scribble and no one ever complains about wasting ink.

• On a related note, when is the last time you saw a kid with chalk drawing on a sidewalk?

• As an American in good standing, I drank 23 barrels of crude oil last year.  Mmm, sweet.

• What household item gets used most often for some secondary purpose?  I’d say knife, followed by vinegar and scissors.

• Use of the Oxford comma is a matter of taste; I intend to use it again, again, and again.

• My mess is work-in-progress; your mess is clutter; his mess is a real eyesore.

• The 537 people we elected to office in Washington, D.C. are not exceptional, and we should stop pretending otherwise.  They are just like us and they prove it every day.

• Worst orchestral instrument in the world: wood block.  No one wants to hear wood block.