I have the same problem with my reading list as I do with my New Year’s Resolutions: other interests and priorities eventually have their say.  Of the six titles on my 2015 reading list, I managed to read only two, having substituted three other books that were not on the list.  Arguably, Dice World, and Pieces of Eight were more compelling to me (and easier to read) than Sleepwalkers, the much-heralded backstory of World War I that I had pledged to finish this year.

I did not even tiptoe past the frontispieces of Racisms by Francisco Bethencourt or The People, Yes by Carl Sandburg, both of which were on my 2015 list.  And Octavia Butler’s 746-page Lilith’s Brood remains in little danger of being polished off any time soon, as I got bogged down a quarter-of-the-way through and have not yet been inspired to mount an offensive to conquer the rest.

2016 Reading ListWhat books will I finish in 2016?  Arguably by Hitchens will be the first.  I’m also interested in Piketty’s treatise on wealth inequality, Capital in the Twenty-First CenturyI have been waiting for it to appear in a more-affordable paperback edition.  After those, I will either return to the unread titles on my end-table or pursue whatever new writings inspire me.  (Who knows, your suggestion may be my inspiration.)

For better or worse, mine is a one-person book club.  Its rules are pretty loose and I don’t get blowback from other members about my picks.  It’s just like Oprah, give or take three billion dollars and sixty million fans.

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• Religion is the cologne many killers wear to mask their hate.

• I would like to know what segment of the viewing public was able to watch David Caruso play tough-guy roles, while suspending disbelief.

• It would be nice to have richer interactions with others than this blog affords.  In spite of the occasional appreciative comments, I seldom know who is reading and whether their reaction is positive or otherwise.  Stage actors can bask in the visible warmth of their audiences, but writers must be blind and impassive, like fishermen.  When fishing, you cast your fly, and maybe there is a fish down there and maybe not, but if there is a fish there, it may be hungry or maybe not, but if it is hungry, maybe it is in the mood for a worm and not a fly, or maybe it is the time of year it eats gnats, or maybe your fly just smells funny or swims by too fast.  So you pull in the line and most often you find nothing.  And you think, maybe what you need is a different lure or a new line or a cooler day, but you really have no idea.

• Making and keeping friends is something I have never been good at.  As a result, I don’t have many.  I envy those who do — they will outlive me, in days and in minds.

• On a more melancholy note (!) I must also confess that the older I get, the more I tend to procrastinate.  I see this as perfectly rational — I would rather have my obituary read, “He died while working on his final composition” than “He died while cleaning the garage.”

• With respect to cleaning, I don’t see small specks of dirt and crumbs on the floor as well as I used to.  And the ones I do see, I’m less inclined to pick up right then and there… I will vac them up eventually.  A tentative co-existence with imperfection is settling in.

• From the American Irony Board:  When my son and his wife visited for Thanksgiving, they brought along a book to give to my daughter: “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.”  After the holiday, as my daughter was packing up to leave, I saw she had neglected to pack the book.  I asked her, didn’t she want to take the book with her, and she replied, no, she probably wouldn’t read it.  So now I get to figure out what to do with this book about clutter that is sitting on my desk.

• Donald Trump, with alphabetic economy, has made a not-so-surprising transition from “You’re Fired!” to “You’re Afraid!”

• I really don’t want my blog to be bleak.  I do love life.  It’s just that so much shit — man-made, man-preventable or man-remediable — makes life not so much fun for millions of others on this planet.  My cognitive dissonance stares me in the face every day that I watch The Price is Right — and I stare it right back down as I try to outguess the contestants on the prices of designer leather goods, wine coolers and karaoke systems.

I close with an observation by writer Anna Holmes, with a bracketed insertion of my own:  “I believe that self-loathing is a reasonable response to the unfairness and arbitrariness of the profession [humanity] with which we’ve chosen to align ourselves.”

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Every year at this time, conservative television pundits air their complaints about The War on Christmas.  They insist that Christmas has been stripped of its true meaning, which for them means shopping for gifts for their family and friends and then hearing a cashier say “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays” after ringing up the sale.

In this case I agree: there is persecution in our shopping malls.  It is not right that we single out Christians to suffer this crass, seasonal commercialization of their beliefs.  Instead, let’s be fair: if we are going to cash in on one belief system, we should expose them all to the withering wind of winter merchandising.

It is in that spirit (!) that I offer The 100 Billionth Pan-Theistic Holiday Catalog.  It is the Sharper Image of Spiritualism, the Brookstone of Belief, the Frontgate of Faith, all rolled into one last desperate grasp for your year-end shopping dollar.  Happy gifting!

• • •

JELLO SHOT MENORAH

Celebrate the long nights of Hanukkah in the spirit of your ancestors with this colorful Jello Shot Menorah!  One shot the first night, two shots the next… by the eighth night, you will be lit up like a rabbi’s menorah!  Will your bottle of vodka last all eight nights?  This fun glass-and-brass set may have the answer… if you don’t get shamashed first!
$89.95.

Jello Shot Menorah - Photoshop Image by CHCollins
Buddha Songbook - Photoshop Image by CHCollins

BUDDHA HOLIDAY SONGBOOK

All your favorite carols about The Enlightened One are in The Eight Days of Buddha Songbook, including the beloved mantra… “On the Eighth Day of Buddha, meditation revealed to me: the eight-fold path, seven factors of enlightenment, six paths of rebirth, five precepts, four noble truths, three poisons of the wheel of life, two schools of thought, and Buddha sitting by a Bodhi tree!”
$12.95.

“A FRANKLIN KWANZAA”

We all watch it on TV every year, but no one ever talks about how there is no “brown” in “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Good grief, where are all the people of color?  Don’t worry, you will find them here in “A Franklin Kwanzaa” which stars Franklin Armstrong, the only black kid in the Peanuts neighborhood. Watch Franklin do his best to put the K back in Kwanzaa, in this 26-minute DVD!
$19.95.

A Franklin Kwanzaa DVD - Photoshop Image by CHCollins
A Clock in a Case - Image by Irving, Texas, Police Dept

CLOCK-IN-A-CASE (REPLICA)

Based on a design by 14-year-old inventor Ahmed Mohamed, this replica clock-in-a-case not only tells time but mystifies friends, teachers and politicians! Like the original, you can open the case to reveal scary-looking wires!  So the next time you visit our nation’s capital, bring your replica clock to the White House fence and see if the Secret Service will take you inside to meet President Obama!
$39.95.

EMPTY BOX OF ZEN

The best holiday gift for the Taoist in your life — and perhaps the one in your next life — is the gift of self-discovery and acceptance.  As the sages in our marketing department instructed us to say:

“This box contains nothing and everything.  What is inside the box depends on what is inside you.”

Gift wrap not available for this item.
$10.00.

An empty box? Or an empty life?

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