Category Archives: News and Comment

Craig H. Collins, founder and CEO of The 100 Billionth Person, issued the following statement from his Silicon Mountain headquarters late today:

“In light of Mark Zuckerberg’s recent announcement that his social-media platform Meta will no longer perform fact-checking on Facebook and Instagram posts, the editorial team of The 100 Billionth Person has decided to follow suit.  We also will no longer fact-check any of the content published on our site, effective fifteen years ago.”

Our Founder

Craig H. Collins making today’s announcement

“This decision was made after careful deliberation and an elegant dinner for our staff at Club Mar-a-Lago, where we dined with the President-elect, Donald J. Trump, the Vice-President-in-effect, Elon Musk, and 2028 Republican Presidential nominee J. D. Vance.  We drank Trump Wine and ate Trump Steaks and discovered which side our bread was buttered on, at least for the next four years.  And that’s the fact that matters most to us.”

“But I must emphatically emphasize, the action we are undertaking today does not imply that we don’t believe in facts or the truth or a reasonable facsimile that is just close enough to reality to keep us out of legal and/or political jeopardy.  Far from it.  To restate, our goal is to let our users wander as far from reality as they wish, because that is what freedom of speech is about.  In fact, we like to call it freedom from mind.”

“And I also want to assure everyone that freedom also applies to advertising.  Although we no longer run ads on The 100 Billionth Person, we could always reconsider, especially if some America First group that commands plenty of eyeballs (say, Tesla?) approaches us with the right — and I mean right — kind of message.  There is no message that speaks like money, as real Americans say, and who are we to question their patriotic wisdom.”

“As CEO and Founder of The 100 Billionth Person, I assure you that we all sincerely get it, from the top to our bottom line.  While some readers might have concerns that our action will advance lies and falsehoods, we earnestly believe that the opposite is true: offering our readers a free and open forum is the best way to assure that every voice is heard, that every crackpot has an equal opportunity to attract a following of fellow discontents and either go down in flames or achieve critical mass.  That has always been the American way, and we are not about to get in the way of America.  Or its money.”

“So we encourage all readers of The 100 Billionth Person to join together on our march to freedom where, in the immortal words of the late Bobby McGee, truth is just another word for nothing left to sell.  And now we leave the fact-checking to you, whether it’s about the thousands of people that bears kill every year, or the health benefits of colon cleansing, or the army of robot dogs that are protecting our borders from illegal immigrants.  When it comes to the truth, we think you deserve whatever keeps you reading.  Thank you for your continued engagement.  Sorry, but I am not taking questions.”

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This diagram accurately reflects the popular vote totals and margin of victory in the 2024 presidential election. In case you’ve been feeling like you’re the only sane person in town.

 
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What did the snake
say to the mouse?
“I’m going to demolish
your tidy White House!”

What did the fox
say to the grape?
“Can you believe it,
they accused me of rape!”

What did the rabbit
say to the stew?
“I didn’t get cooked,
now the heat is on you!”

What did the wolf
say to his pack?
“I’m going to send
every one of them back!”

What did the orange
say to the pear?
“No one can stop me,
not even Up There!”

What did the jackal
say to the calf?
“I sacrifice you
on America’s behalf.”

 

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