Shall we plow some already well-plowed ground?  Why not!  It’s the 100 billionth episode of there are two types of people in this world…

• … those who mark the books they read, and those who refrain from doing so, because the next reader should be free to judge for herself what is important.
• … those who enjoy Neil Diamond, and those who keep their mouths shut when his name is mentioned in polite company, lest an argument ensue.
• … those who assert that certain dog breeds are inherently dangerous, and those who have bullmastiffs as pets.
• … first-worlders who strive to weigh less, and third-worlders who hope to weigh more.
• … those who tell stories, and those who make observations.
• … those who tell their dinner guests “I pay more taxes than you make in a year,” and those who are horrified to discover the type of people they agreed to have dinner with.
• … those who use the expression my hard-earned money, and most Democrats.
• … those who get the previous statement, and those who think they do.
• … those who watch television, and those who fiddle around on their laptop while the spouse watches television.
• … those who have to worry about malaria, dengue and ebola, and those who live in Northern Europe, Canada and the United States.
• … those who are big Elmo fans, and those who think Grover was a more complex and interesting Sesame Street character, but what do we know?  We’re adults.
• … those who watch The Bachelor, and billions of people with better things to do.
• … those who believe that black lives matter, and those who agree that they do but then pedantically insist that other lives matter too, such as those of dogs, police, whites, the homeless, vets, and — I am not kidding — robots.
• … those who are witty, entertaining and tolerable, and those for whom two-out-of-three will have to suffice, among them Ricky Gervais, Hugh Jackman, and me. (David Spade and Gilbert Gottfried represent a third type of people — those who are zero-out-of-three — but that is beyond the scope of this taxonomy.)
• … those who load forks and knives into the dishwasher tray with the sharp ends down, and passive-aggressive wives who ask their husbands to empty the dishwasher.