The 100 Billionth Person presents The Easy-Does-It Quiz.  Answer these questions for a chance to win — get ready — 100 billion dollars!  That’s right, you can be worth more than Bill Gates if you answer these easy-does-it questions.  No annoying Will Shortz puzzles.  No ridiculous Survivor-style challenges.  Just a few easy-does-it questions and you can be on your way to winning 100 billion dollars!  Ready?  Here we go.

(Warning: these easy questions get a little tougher as we go along, so be prepared.)

1. Remove one letter from DOWNTOWN ABBEY, a massive church in the middle of a city,  to obtain the name of a popular British soap opera, without rearranging any other letters.

2. Remove one letter from CROWBOY, the famous Nova Scotia science-fiction character, to obtain the name of the traditional hero of the 19th-century American West, without rearranging any other letters.

3.  Remove one letter from GEORGE W BLUSH, a man who is easily embarassed, to obtain the name of a famous man who was not embarassed at all by his incompetent and arrogant presidency.  Without rearranging any other letters.

4.  Remove one letter from SKYDIVER, an insane man who jumps out of an airplane and hopes that his parachute works, to obtain the name of the insane man who jumped out and his parachute didn’t work.  Without rearranging any other letters.

5.  Remove one letter from BROKER, a man who promises to make you rich if you buy the stocks he recommends, to obtain the word that may describe your financial situation after you follow his advice.  Without rearranging any other letters.

6. Remove one letter from REMOTE, the device we use to control entertainment devices, to obtain what we should be doing instead of sitting on our asses hoping to be entertained.

7.  Remove one letter from JEEESUS, without rearranging any other letters.  Now remove another letter, and another, and one more, to obtain the name of an extra-wide shoe.

8.  Remove one letter from HOKEY-POKEY.  Now put it back in.  Now take it back out.  Shake it all about, then turn yourself around, to obtain what it’s all about.

9.  Remove one letter from MIN, to obtain the postal abbreviation for one of the states of the United States, without rearranging any other letters.  Since you are so smart and such a special friend, I know you will get this question right.

10.  Remove one letter from my MAILBOX and see if you get arrested.

If you think you have the correct answers to all ten questions, just follow these easy-does-it instructions to get your 100 billion dollars!  Write your answers on an 8″ x 11″ sheet of plain white paper, then scan the sheet, convert it to a PDF file and send the PDF file as an attachment to an ASCII text message to Bill Gates @gatesfoundation. (Important!  Make sure your message is no longer than 140 characters, otherwise it will crash his computer.)  If Bill Gates reads your message and thinks that you really need help, he may decide to send you 100 billion dollars!  Wow!

No need to thank me.  There’s no END in FRIEND here at The 100 Billionth Person.  Oops… well, there is, isn’t there.