• The last thing most people need is someone telling them what they need.

• True or False:  The higher you place an item on a shelf, the more likely it is to fall.

• I am not a celebrity.  Objects do not become more valuable because I have owned them.  The only things of mine that will have value to my children when I’m gone are the things that evoke good memories for them.  Example: I have saved the golf ball from my only hole-in-one.  It is in a box in the storage room.  When my children discover it, it will look like any other golf ball to them.  As it should.

• Two wrongs don’t make a right.  Three lefts do.

• For some reason, it is considered a good sign when people are lined up waiting for a table  in a restaurant but not a good sign when those people are seated and waiting for service.

• Graduate this: Dustin Hoffman will be 75 in August; Simon and Garfunkel are already 70.

• True or False: If you see a “Honk If You Love Jesus” sign and you do not honk, it means you do not love Jesus.

• This is the icon that allows you to make a phone call on the Apple iPhone.  Most iPhone users have probably never seen a telephone shaped like this except in the movies.  (Movies like “The Graduate.”)  It is somewhat ironic how 21st-century technology sees fit to recycle symbols from the 20th.

•  I have once again picked up “The Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume One” after a long hiatus.  This volume is over two intimidating inches thick and starts off slow and dry, thanks to a 58-page “Introduction” by the editor.  Reaching the end of that section, I was ready to put the book down and did.  Luckily, Twain’s own words have proven to be far more engaging.  He writes with a refreshing, direct, declarative style that reminds me of Kurt Vonnegut without the weight and weariness.  I look forward to finishing the book sometime before Game One of the World Series in Pittsburgh.