From a press release by Kimberly-Clark, the makers of Cottonelle toilet paper:

“The Cottonelle brand introduced new designer roll covers to shine a spotlight on our most care-worthy toilet paper ever…” said Matt Steele, Cottonelle associate brand manager.  “We’re thrilled that so many people are rethinking how they care for their toilet paper and want to respect the roll with a Cottonelle brand designer roll cover.”

The Cottonelle brand designer roll covers feature three fashion-forward designs inspired by the latest trends.  Marked by colorful prints and patterns and designs that look hand-sketched, the roll cover designs were inspired by feverish trends, explained Kimberly-Clark Designer Christine Mau.

“In today’s high-tech, digital world, there is a trend toward design that feels like it was touched and created by hand,” said Mau. “These roll covers, inspired by a Mid-Century Modern movement, will make people stop and take notice and, in turn, make them think about caring for their toilet paper like never before.”

Feverish trends?  Mid-Century Modern movement?  Caring for toilet paper?  I don’t want to think about toilet paper let alone care for it.  And people get paid to whip up this crap? One has to wonder: when Designer Christine Mau heads to the bathroom, does she have a Mid-Century Modern movement?

I hate marketing — a Mad Men cocktail of one part phoniness to three parts manipulation, served over ice-cold avarice.  Garnished with bullshit.