•  My wife has been out of town for a few days visiting my daughter.  I have not watched the news since then, and other than catching up on some old Daily Show episodes, I have hardly glanced at the television.  If it were up to me, I could pretty easily unplug the damned thing and save $1000 a year — once Jon Stewart departs.

•  After I took my wife to the airport, I stopped at the supermarket and bought myself two  fried chicken breasts and a half-gallon of butter pecan ice cream.  I mention this just in case you thought I was being smug about giving up television.

•  I have developed a smartphone app for readers of The 100 Billionth Person.  Whenever I post something new here, the app will scan it and notify you if there is anything worthwhile for you to read.  A one-year subscription to the app costs $899.  If I were you, I would just read the blog and save yourself a lot of money.

•  I go into a restaurant and take a seat at the bar to have a beer and a sandwich.  The bar is pretty full but there is one seat left at the far end.  I sit down, order a beer and start reading the book I brought along — I am not into small talk with strangers.  Some time later, after my meal has arrived, I look up and notice there is no one sitting at the bar except for me and the guy next to me.  This feels weird, I thought, and I redouble my attention to my book.  Eventually, however, the vacant seats become occupied again and the weirdness dissipates.

•  Sad Songs Album CoverIn grade school, we were taught there were three degrees of adjectives: positive (good), comparative (better) and superlative (best).  When we became old enough to buy albums of our favorite music, we found out there is a fourth degree: hyperlative (very best).

The album shown here, The Very Best of Sad Songs, does not include Hey Jude by the Beatles.  Apparently, they can take a sad song and make it better but not one of the very best.

•  One cannot live in the relatively sane part of the world without regretting that the rest of the world is so turbulent and crazy.  But some try their very hardest.

•  I have been skeptical of the American Red Cross for years.  Even so, the recent exposé by NPR and Pro Publica on Red Cross rebuilding efforts (so to speak) in Haiti was eye-opening:

Lee Malany was in charge of the Red Cross’ shelter program in Haiti starting in 2010. He remembers a meeting in Washington that fall where officials did not seem to have any idea how to spend millions of dollars set aside for housing.  Malany says the officials wanted to know which projects would generate good publicity, not which projects would provide the most homes.  [He] resigned the next year from his job in Haiti.  “I said there’s no reason for me to stay here.  I got on the plane and left.”

My last donation to the American Red Cross was in the immediate aftermath of 9/11/2001.  Within eight weeks of the attack, it had raised over $560 million for its “Liberty Fund” but had distributed only $150 million of it, setting aside most of the rest for “future needs.” Since then, I have directed my support to CARE and Doctors Without Borders.

•  A story about a dog whose muzzle had been taped shut by its owner has been circulating on Facebook, prompting a storm of outrage.  One commenter said, “This is the most heinous thing imaginable.”  With due respect to animals, no it’s not, unless your imagination stops somewhere short of child abuse, assaults on women, hate crimes, terrorism and genocide.  People are accustomed to humans treating other humans horribly but, oddly, the thought that humans also harm animals is a shock to many.

•  The last thing people want to see is the last thing we see.  In that respect, we all get our wish in the end.

Seats at the Bar

 

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Identiposers

One of the many reasons I hate sales and marketing is that only one side of the story is ever presented: the side that induces you to buy the product.  The positive features are exaggerated and the negatives are either downplayed or ignored.  The moment I sense that I am being sold something, my defenses kick in, because I know I am not being told the whole truth.

I am especially annoyed by the people who market themselves as if they were a brand.  They also show only one side of themselves: a pretty package, a carefully manufactured persona-as-product they hope you will buy.  Integral to their self-marketing is how they depict themselves on their websites and in promotional materials.  Invariably, they appear to be fresh and ageless, as good brands should be, reality be damned.

I call such people identiposers — people who allow (or promote) the misrepresentation of their image for potential personal gain.  Allow me to present a few examples.

BWaltersOn the left is the image that Barbara Walters, age 85, uses as her Facebook profile photo. On the right is a snapshot of Ms. Walters following her May 2015 appearance on David Letterman’s show.
raitt1-2On the left is the image of Bonnie Raitt, age 65, that she displays on her website.  On the right is a photo of Ms. Raitt at a February 2015 music awards program.
OzOn the left is the image of so-called Doctor Mehmet Oz, age 55, that he uses on his Twitter page.  On the right is a photo of Dr. Oz from his June 2014 testimony before the U.S. Senate.
AriannaOn the left is the image that Arianna Huffington, age 64, uses on her Twitter account.  On the right is a photo of Ms. Huffington at New York Fashion Week in February 2015.
Quaker GuyOn the left is an image of the Quaker Oats Man, age 138, as shown in the corporate logo.  On the right — well, I think you get the idea.
Brian KrebsPerformers are not the only ones who conveniently forget to keep their public image up-to-date.  Take Brian Krebs,  cybersecurity expert.  His website banner photo calls to mind a dashing and intrepid investigator of computer crime.  But on television, we see a 43-year-old soccer dad.
BoxerLet’s not forget politicians.  One of the photos at right shows how Senator Barbara Boxer of California, age 74, looks today, and the other photo — from her website — is how she looked in 1998 or thereabouts.  You may guess which is which, no special committee hearings needed here.
BTracyMany motivational speakers make a living talking about self-confidence, including Brian Tracy.  The image on the left shows the confident-looking Mr. Tracy, now 71, as seen on his Google Plus profile.  The photo on the right shows Mr. Tracy at one of his workshops, back in 2011.

I don’t buy the notion that these examples are oversights, a result of just being slow on the draw to update promotional materials.  No, the images presented to us are chosen to make the person-product look younger than his or her actual age and thereby appear more vital, appealing and credible.  Using outdated images is a manipulation, one that is hardly more ethical than the more-frequently-criticized overuse of Photoshop.

I have nothing against people wanting to look their best in public and taking pride in their appearance.  But what we see here are examples of personal branding by identiposers, not personal pride.

SelfieI am not a celebrity or businessperson.  I have not used my image to brand my blog — what a mistake that would be! —  but in fairness, by not having posted my photo here, I could be accused of leaving too much to the reader’s imagination.  So, in the spirit of self-disclosure, I am sharing a photo of me taken earlier this year.  It’s the first selfie I ever did, using the first smartphone I ever owned, and it will likely be the last.

This brings to mind a morbid topic: what photo is appropriate for one’s own obituary?  Must it show how I looked in my later years or may it be from any point in my lifetime?  I don’t know what photo I would pick, but you can be sure it will show me with more hair on my head.

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