Category Archives: Life

Back in 2023, I wrote a little ditty about the prevalence of after-the-fact surveys and how we get harangued for feedback after nearly every transaction.  Unfortunately, it has only gotten worse since then.  So a month ago, I finally decided enough was enough and I cut the survey cord.  (Snip!)

Since my decision, I have summarily trashed or deleted every “how did we do” hounding  I’ve received, including the following:

✏️  My annual Blue Cross Medicare patient survey.  Blue Cross always starts the process by sending an email asking you to complete the survey online.  (It has multiple pages and dozens of questions.)  If you don’t respond in a timely way, they send you a second email.  If you still don’t comply, they send you a hard copy of the survey in the US Mail.  And if you don’t do that one, they mail you yet another copy.  We are now going to find out what happens after that — I bet I will get a robo phone call, which I intend to ignore.

✏️  An online survey request, followed by a reminder, from the hospital where my x-ray markers were implanted.  (It was fine.  But no one ever wants to be in a hospital, not even the staff.)

✏️  An online survey request, followed by a reminder, from the hospital (a different one) which delivered my hormone-rejection injection.  (That was fine too.  But see above.)

✏️  Two pester posts from Open Table, asking me to review restaurants we visited using the Open Table reservation system.  (What they really want is more data on me.)

✏️  A request from Lowe’s Home Improvement to take a five-minute survey about our refrigerator delivery experience.  (The guys were friendly and their huge truck broke only one tree limb — there, that took five seconds.)  This was followed by a reminder five days later.

✏️  An email, followed by a reminder four days later, from Sam’s Club, wanting feedback on my recent shopping experience.  (Answer:  Like always, it involved lots of walking.)

✏️  An email, followed by a reminder just one day later, from DirecTV, asking about my interaction with their telephone representative.  (Hey, let’s see if the problem gets fixed in two weeks when the technician shows up.)

You can spend your days filling out surveys or you can just save your energy for the times you have something to complain about.  I’ve opted for the latter and I’m not looking back.

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* Even better, let people know in real time what you liked and what you didn’t and move on.

Other than hair color, have you ever been able to tell the difference between the loves of Archie’s comic life, namely Betty and Veronica?  I always felt they were just placeholders,  same smile, same expressions, just different flavors of ice cream for Archie and his fans.

But perhaps I’ve been blind.  Maybe there are differences between the Archie characters that I failed to pick up on.  So readers, here’s a nine-part quiz for you — see how many of these you get right.  If you score seven or more, you get the Dilton Doiley Genius Award!

The answer to each panel is revealed each time you click forward.  You’re responsible for keeping your own score.  Note: I threw in a little surprise as a tie-breaker, so stay sharp!  And don’t go telling me you got all ten right.  Have fun!

Living in an Appalachian-chic tourist town (I’m talking about you, sweet home Asheville) is a lot different than living in a Northern white-collar manufacturing hub like Rochester, New York, once was.  And for present purposes, by living I mean eating.

When we lived “up north” (as we now say) during Rochester’s big-corporation heyday, nearly every restaurant was an American restaurant, whether Italian-American, Greek-American, Asian-American or Urban-American.  You had all kinds of bar-and-grills, mom-and-pop’s, family-style restaurants and special-occasion places to choose from based on your mood and budget.  And you would usually be handed an American menu, in that most of the classic categories (meat, poultry, seafood, pasta, vegetarian) were represented.

But that’s a rarity here in tourist-centric* Asheville.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all Mr. Freedom Fries when it comes to restaurant offerings.  But it does disappoint that my fair city has so few American options (as defined above) but instead is dominated by niche dining.  Every new or newly-owned purveyor of comestibles in this area seems obliged to make the equivalent of an artist’s statement which invariably speaks less about their food than about their concept: the supposedly unique way that the establishment intends to serve its community through its culinary creations.

Here are just a few easily-retrieved excerpts from popular local restaurant sites:

(A) We believe in the importance of working locally, not just using ingredients from our surrounding area, but also in our contribution to the community. The success of our restaurant has always been closely entwined with the health and progress of our community. For over 40 years we have supported the arts, local-needs and education programs.

Menu entrees: 5.  Entree prices: $22 (burger) to $48 (ribeye).

(B) We believe in spending our money in the local community of farmers, makers, artists, and other business ventures. We know that energy and capital infused in the local community creates a healthy economy.

Menu entrees: 8.  Entree prices: $29 (mushroom ramen) to $58 (8 oz filet).

(C) Founders [redacted] are avid travelers. When landing in a new city or town, they always seek out the restaurants loved most by locals. They have learned that locally-owned restaurants are the best way to experience good food and authentic connection between customers and staff.  Quality cuisine and authentic connection are woven into the ethos of these local gems. … Our commitment to offering a thoughtful menu made with locally sourced seasonal ingredients, coupled with the care we’ve taken to establish meaningful connections with Appalachia’s growers and purveyors, has been the foundation of [our restaurant’s] standards since opening in 2009.

Menu entrees: 8.  Entree prices: $30 (lumache pasta) to $55 (beef tenderloin).

(D)  When it comes to our sourcing, we set ourselves to a higher standard. We are proud to use all-natural anti-biotic free chicken. Feeding someone is always an act of love, and that starts with the chickens.

Menu entrees: 6.  Entree prices: $8 (chicken tenders) to $12 (chicken club sandwich).

(E)  [Our restaurant] is a guided journey into the culinary treasure troves of Spain. Our collection of restaurants, online marketplace, wine club, and culinary journeys create a portal to Spanish culture.  [Our founders] built [this business] on its Spanish meaning, “heal yourself.”  They believe that discovering new flavors can unite people in a delicious moment of wonder and joy that cures the soul.

Menu entrees: 6.  Entree prices: $22 (lamb skewers) to $37 (grilled trout).

(F)  [Our restaurant’s] HVAC system features a Reme-Halo IAG hydro-peroxide/zinc ionizing blue light installed inline with its filter.  Allergens, bacteria, viruses, and pollutants filtered from the air all meet their demise before air is recirculated in the restaurant.  We will not tolerate fur from animals as attire.  If we encounter it in the restaurant, we’ll ask (maybe politely) that it be removed from the building.

Menu entrees: 6 or 7.  Entree prices: $19 (masala uttapam) to $26 (seitan piccata).

(G) I believe in the power of the table, the value of passing food, and of sharing stories and listening. These moments around a shared table deepen the ties between people we care about, in turn strengthening the web of our families, friendships and communities. …  As a chef, I have witnessed how sharing a meal can reveal insights and discovery – often unexpected – about who we are and why we do what we do.  These experiences deepen the connections between us, connections that ultimately elevate our lives.

Menu entrees: 5.  Entree prices: $24 (carrot-parsnip farrotto) to $35 (beef short rib).

These blurbs merely scrape the surfaces of the dishes soaking in our local kitchens’ sinks.  I could serve up plenty more of this chow, but I suspect you and I have been given enough advice already on how we might elevate our lives in such fastidious fashion.  Me, I’d prefer less pretension and more menu choices.

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* Note to Our Fair Visitors:  First, bless you for your contributions to our economy and I hope you enjoyed your meals here.  But please keep in mind that all too many Asheville restaurateurs design their menus to appeal to your loosened wallets as opposed to serving the tastes and budgets of the local populace.