Yearly Archives: 2018

The question posed in the title of this post was raised by my father-in-law whenever we watched Wild Kingdom on television, or followed the flight of the pelicans sailing past the veranda of his condo, or saw an alligator on the golf course.

To be fair, my father-in-law saw far more “nature” than these pedestrian examples imply.  He and his wife explored Africa and Asia and furnished their home with souvenirs from their travels.  He enjoyed retelling those adventures.  I would not characterize him as a nature-enthusiast of the David Attenborough school but rather as an appreciative and privileged tourist.

“Where would we be without nature?” would eventually become sort of a catchphrase among us, his adopted family, because he said it so often.  In his later years, he would have breakfast (his favorite was Cinnamon Squares) at the table next to the kitchen window, where squirrels would jump up onto the concrete sill to harvest the walnut pieces we would scatter along its length, producing what my sister-in-law called “Squirrel TV” for his enjoyment as he ate.

Where would we be without nature?  I would not be here asking that question without having known Tucker, my father-in-law, a man of his time and with his time’s attitude toward nature.

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What is it about me and popular culture?

Perhaps versus would have been a better conjunction in that question.

I do not feel the slightest twinge of anything (other than mild annoyance) when I hear Springsteen’s Born to Run.  What place wasn’t I that every other American seemed to be when that song was popular?

Nor have I ever identified with American Pie by Don McLean.  In fact, I grew to actively dislike it, because popular people with other sets of experiences seemed to expect that I should pore over it and spend hours trying to re-interpret our shared youth through it.

The number of rock and/or pop music concerts I have attended over my lifetime can be counted on two hands, with a thumb or two to spare.  I wouldn’t call my taste in music monophonic but The Beatles are the main course and everyone else is garnish.

My cultural disconnect is not limited to music.  I never saw The Titanic or The Lion King or Fast & Furious in any version, stage or screen.  I never watched an episode of America’s seemingly-indispensable television comedies Seinfeld, Friends, Cheers or 30 Rock.  I think I stopped watching fiction on television (not counting press briefings by Donald Trump) shortly after L.A. Law and Star Trek: The Next Generation wrapped up in 1994.  All right, there was The X-Files.  And The Sopranos.  And Fringe.  (But it was my alt-universe self who watched Fringe, so that may not count.)

Anticipation / Born to Run -- Illustration by CHCollinsGarth Brooks, Taylor Swift, Kanye West, Miley Cyrus, Bruno Mars, Drake, 50 Cent, Beyoncé.  The names and faces and brands and personas come and go.  I am not sure what demands more of my attention these days, musical celebrities or Medicare plans.

I guess I am just not that impatient for entertainment.  I like to entertain myself and you.

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1   The Garden of Eden
     was not about feeding
     an apple to a man
     but how shame began.

2   Our attempt to explain
     why childbirth begets pain
     invoked God, sex and sin.
3   Sad way to begin.

4   When Cain struck down Abel
     (according to fable)
     he invented warfare.
5   We took it from there.

6   The Ark built by Noah
      ferried two protozoa,
     and then four and then eight.
7   Disease was First Mate.

8   The Flood begat Rainbow,
     a sign, so claimed Noah,
     of God's misgivings for
     culling the living.

9   The leftover rabble
     assembled at Babel
     to build a tall tower.
10  Nui ka huikau.

11  Covenants fell like rain
     on the grandsons of Cain.
12  God's strangest provision:
     male circumcision.

13  Sodom and Gomorrah
     lacked ten men of morals
     so The Lord burned them down.
14  At least no one drowned.

15  Abraham gripped his knife
     to cut short his son's life
     and flesh out God's design.
16  God said, "Never mind."

17  Abraham's Sarah and
     Jacob's Rachel -- barren.
18  Their mates took more women:
      more sons were given.

19  Was this really how man
      supposedly began?
20  Given what men now do,
      much of it rings true.
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