• I haven’t felt the urge to write for weeks.  Life has made its presence felt.

• The statement “I hate cats” has nine letters and two spaces.  Admirably succinct.

• Here’s a tip from me, Mr. Know-It-All.  Having trouble sharing files among the various Windows computers on your home network?  Then here is something you should never, ever do on your Windows 8 machine, as tempting as it looks to the casual nerd.  Under no circumstances should you change read/write privileges on the User folder.  You will wind up disabling all of your apps.  I did this and it made such a mess of things that I had no choice but to wipe my laptop and start over.  Luckily, Mr. Know-It-All does not store anything on his laptop that matters — he saves important files to his desktop computer, which is automatically backed up every night to an external hard-drive.  Just call me Mr. Kn0w-A-Bit.

• I keep wishing that other people would find me as entertaining as I think I am.  So I went to the doctor and asked, do I have Ricky Gervais Disease, and she said, “As a doctor, I can say professionally, no, you are simply not very entertaining.”  I thought, what a relief.

• States are a dumb idea.  The States of the United States are arbitrary units of government that for the most part are holdovers from colonial land grants and various spoils of war.  State borders are constructs that now only serve to create artificial divisions among people who are more alike than different.  The concept of states embodied in our colonial-era Constitution has baked in centuries-old inequalities.  It makes no sense that voters in Wyoming and Vermont, for example, have more individual say in passing legislation and electing our President than voters in larger states.  Why preserve the quaint notion of tiny and sparsely populated states?  Let’s redraw state borders so there is equal population among all the states.  (I thought this was a fresh idea — but it is not, no, not at all.)

• Here is what Shakespeare had to say about a woman-of-years working in the field:

Upon her head a platted hive of straw,
Which fortified her visage from the sun,
Whereon the thought might think sometime it saw
The carcass of beauty spent and done:
Time had not scythed all that youth begun,
Nor youth all quit; but, spite of heaven’s fell rage,
Some beauty peep’d through lattice of sear’d age.

Wish I had thought of that.  Glad that WS did.

• Speaking of women, I am majorly annoyed at the Cialis commerical that starts out with the narrator saying, “She’s still the one for you.”  What is she supposed to be?  The one you got tired of?  And what about you, you whiskery-bearded guy who forgot to charge his shaver and can’t give up the 1992-look except for the ponytail — no, you don’t want to do a ponytail, small tattoo maybe, but no ponytail — what part do you play in this farce?

The fact remains, your big fat Madison Avenue smile at this woman inches from your face isn’t fixing that erection thing going on, and you are so flaming into yourself that you check out every woman who walks within ten feet of you to see whether she is “still the one for you.”  You asshole, excuse me for pointing out the obvious.

• According to a survey by the Institute for Applied Economic Research, 26 percent of Brazilians agree that women who wear revealing clothes deserve to be assaulted.  In the same poll, 59 percent thought there would be fewer rapes if women knew how to behave.    This attitude is so common, you cannot call it inhuman — it is better to call it barbaric and treat those who hold this attitude as terrorists of women.

• I would so like to make my blog about uplifting human stories.  Wouldn’t that be great!