Without prayer or serious consideration, I have also decided not to seek the nomination for President of the United States in 2012.

In making this difficult decision, as always, my family comes first, but my wildly successful blog comes in a close second.  And third, if I were your President, I would have to move to Washington, D.C., and you all know how I hate the Beltway.  I mean, I-95 really bites.

I believe at this time I can be more effective pulling weeds and transplanting overgrown shrubs in my yard, while other true public servants do the hard work of drumming up campaign funds every month.  In the meantime, we need to continue working to restore our greatness, starting with 24-hour-a-day reruns of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

I thank those who have supported me throughout the years, and especially those who kept asking me and asking me:  Am I going to run?  Am I going to run?  I would have kept you guessing longer but I noticed some of you were drifting away, so I had to say something to get your attention.

In the coming weeks, I will continue to eat great meals prepared by my wife, attend local arts-and-crafts shows on weekends, and work in the yard.  God bless America.