{"id":9858,"date":"2014-12-13T20:35:52","date_gmt":"2014-12-14T01:35:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/?p=9858"},"modified":"2022-08-01T07:43:05","modified_gmt":"2022-08-01T11:43:05","slug":"thoughts-on-the-range-by-charley","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2014\/12\/thoughts-on-the-range-by-charley\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts on the Range. By Charley"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello, this is Charley again.\u00a0 Time for my annual trail ride through the badlands of writing, as only a cowboy can tell it.\u00a0 Lucky you — you finally get to hear my thoughts on the range, inspired by The Teachings of John Wayne: A Gunslinger Way of Knowledge<\/a>, which was read by every cactus-smoking college student in New Mexico in the 70s.\u00a0 I should know.<\/p>\n

\"Bullet\"Here is my first thought.\u00a0 The owner of this blog makes a big deal about the number of posts he has done.\u00a0 Well, I can count too.\u00a0 This is my fifth post.\u00a0 And you can read them all, if you follow these simple instructions:<\/p>\n

Cowboy Instructions:<\/em><\/p>\n

Type CHARLEY<\/em> into the box in the sidebar and click Search<\/em>.<\/p>\n

City Slicker Instructions<\/em>:<\/p>\n

Find the handheld device known as your mouse<\/em>.\u00a0 Move the mouse to the right until the arrow on the screen is on top of the empty box next to the Search<\/em> button.\u00a0 Now, click the left button on the mouse.\u00a0 You will see a thin vertical line flashing in the box.\u00a0 This means that you are ready to type.<\/p>\n

Now, look down at the computer keyboard in front of you.\u00a0 You will see a key with the letter C<\/em> on it, near the bottom left of the keyboard.\u00a0 Move your finger over to that key.\u00a0 Press down and then quickly let go.\u00a0 You will see a C<\/em> appear in the search box.<\/p>\n

Note: If you see more than one C<\/em> in the box, then you did not release the key in time.\u00a0 You need to find the Backspace<\/em> key and hold it down until there is only one C<\/em> left.<\/p>\n

OK.\u00a0 Now you are ready to type the next letter.\u00a0 Find the H<\/em> key — it is right there in the middle of the keyboard.\u00a0 Press that key down and quickly let go.\u00a0 You should now see CH<\/em> in the search box.<\/p>\n

Repeat this step for the letters A<\/em>, R<\/em>, L<\/em>, E<\/em> and Y<\/em>.\u00a0 If you see the word CHARLEY<\/em> in the search box, then grab your mouse, hold it down onto a textured surface, and move it to the right until the arrow on the screen appears to be pointing to the Search<\/em> button.\u00a0 Press and release the button on the upper left corner of the mouse. \u00a0 All of my posts will be instantly displayed on your screen, like magic.<\/p>\n

Now that we have gotten rid of all the city slickers, we can talk serious cowboy business.<\/p>\n

\"Bullet\"Here is my second Thought-on-the-Range.\u00a0 Sometimes, when people are really lonely and have had a few shots of redeye, they ask me, what are my favorite cowboy songs?\u00a0 I have no trouble answering: Wild West Hero<\/em><\/a> by Electric Light Orchestra, Where Have All the Cowboys Gone<\/em><\/a> by Paula Cole, and Groove is in the Heart<\/em><\/a> by Deee-Lite.\u00a0 Seriously, that retro catsuit makes Lady Miss Kier look like a diamondback rattlesnake.\u00a0 You go watch and listen.\u00a0 I’ll wait.<\/p>\n

\"Bullet\"Here is my third and final thought.\u00a0 My momma named me after One Horse Charley<\/a>, an African-American cowboy who, as legend has it, could ride any horse in the state of Nevada.\u00a0 In the late 1800s, maybe 20% of all cowboys were African-American, some of the finest in the Old West.\u00a0 I’m proud of my heritage.\u00a0 Cowboy lives matter.<\/p>\n

I don’t count the number of scorpion stings I’ve had or the number of times I’ve blown bubbles in my coffee mug and called it a latte.\u00a0 But nobody cares, because we all have our own problems.\u00a0 You and me, we meet around this time every Christmas and exchange a little not-so-cheerful Christmas Cheer.\u00a0 That’s life on the range for you.<\/p>\n

See you soon, maybe.\u00a0 Thanks for reading.\u00a0 Signed, Charley.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hello, this is Charley again.\u00a0 Time for my annual trail ride through the badlands of writing, as only a cowboy can tell it.\u00a0 Lucky you — you finally get to hear my thoughts on the range, inspired by The Teachings … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-commentary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9858","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9858"}],"version-history":[{"count":37,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9858\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9902,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9858\/revisions\/9902"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9858"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9858"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}