{"id":9038,"date":"2014-08-17T20:25:29","date_gmt":"2014-08-18T00:25:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/?p=9038"},"modified":"2022-08-01T07:43:07","modified_gmt":"2022-08-01T11:43:07","slug":"i-also-am-leaving-the-view","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2014\/08\/i-also-am-leaving-the-view\/","title":{"rendered":"I Also Am Leaving “The View”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I never ever, ever talk about my close friends, especially my television friends, with whom I have shared my tears and expressed my fears.\u00a0 But now, I can’t help myself — I had to write a poem.\u00a0 It comes from the depths of my being, after being with all these people who were so important to my life:<\/p>\n

Star Jones and Lisa Ling, both long gone but of thee I sing.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Liz Hasselbeck and Joy Behar, fox and frenemies they are.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Star and icon <\/em><\/span>Barbara Walters, she parted the barbed waters.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Sherri Shepherd and Jenny McCarthy, the last to leave a boring party.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

And now I must leave too.\u00a0 Now I must leave too.\u00a0 I must leave too.\u00a0 Boo-hoo.
\n<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

So now, I announce, tearfully but with hope for the future, I also am leaving “The View.”\u00a0 The years I spent on the show, hearing my fellow women express their deepest selves while restraining themselves from tearing into the other selves on the show, it was so inspiring.\u00a0 I am so thankful to Barbara for giving me the opportunity to say whatever I wanted to say, as long as it lasted a minute or less and didn’t alienate our target audience.\u00a0 Barbara, thank you so much for teaching me the difference between Rosie O’Donnell and our target audience.<\/p>\n

\"Leaving<\/a>As for the rest of my friends on the show — well, you don’t have to worry about me, I will be fine.\u00a0 I have many exciting projects planned.\u00a0 Michelle Obama and Laura Bush have asked me to volunteer to sky-dive onto the roof of a library while eating fresh vegetables.\u00a0 Arsenio Hall promised me he would buzz me if he ever lands another gig.\u00a0 And Oprah — did I mention Oprah?<\/p>\n

But most of all, I will miss the studio audience who showed up to watch “The View.”\u00a0 It was a screaming, hooting estro-fest, women who wanted nothing more than to see a good catfight between Whoopi and Meghan McCain as we, your on-stage proxies, fawned and flattered.\u00a0 Dear Viewers, we shared a special secret, you and I: it’s not who you are, it’s who you know that makes you famous.\u00a0 I knew the famousest.\u00a0 And you knew me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I never ever, ever talk about my close friends, especially my television friends, with whom I have shared my tears and expressed my fears.\u00a0 But now, I can’t help myself — I had to write a poem.\u00a0 It comes from … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-commentary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9038","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9038"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9038\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9066,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9038\/revisions\/9066"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}