DOROTHY:\u00a0 You’re a very bad man!<\/p>\n
WIZARD: \tOh, no, my dear — I’m — I’m a very good \tman.\u00a0 I’m just a very bad Wizard.<\/p>\n
ARTIST:\u00a0 What about us?<\/p>\n
WIZARD: \tWell, I —<\/p>\n
ARTIST: What about the heart that you promised Dick Cheney?<\/p>\n
WIZARD: \tWell, I —<\/p>\n
ARTIST:\u00a0 And the courage that you promised John Boehner?<\/p>\n
WIZARD: \tWell, I —<\/p>\n
DOROTHY:\u00a0 And the Artist’s talent?<\/p>\n
WIZARD: \tWell, I — but he has it.\u00a0 He’s had it all the time!<\/p>\n
ARTIST: You promised us real things — real artistic ability!<\/p>\n
CHENEY:\u00a0 A real heart!<\/p>\n
BOEHNER:\u00a0 Real courage! That’s what we want.<\/p>\n
WIZARD:\u00a0 \tYou do?\u00a0 Boys, you’re aiming low. You not \tonly surprise, but you grieve me.<\/p>\n
[WIZARD steps closer to ARTIST]<\/p>\n
WIZARD:\u00a0 Why, anybody can show creativity.\u00a0 That’s a \tvery mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous \tcreature that crawls on the earth — or \tslinks through slimy seas thinks he knows what people want to buy and exhibit on their walls! \u00a0 From the rock-bound coast of Maine to the \tSun…. oh, oh, no…. ah well, be \tthat as it may.\u00a0 Back where I come from we \thave schools of art and design, salons of grand prestige \t— where men and women go to become great artists. \u00a0 \tAnd when they come out, they paint ponderous paintings — with no more talent than \tyou have…. But!\u00a0 They have one thing you \thaven’t got!\u00a0 A studio!<\/p>\n
[WIZARD reaches back and obtains several file folders, selects one, and presents it to the ARTIST as Dorothy, Cheney and Boehner look on.]<\/p>\n
WIZARD: Therefore, by virtue of the authority \tvested in me by Museum Modernarticus Trendibatus e Pluribus Unum, I hereby \tconfer upon you a lease to an art studio<\/a>, along with the honorary degree of Ah.D.<\/p>\n ARTIST:\u00a0 Ah.D.?<\/p>\n WIZARD:\u00a0 \tYeah — that… that’s Doctor of Artology!<\/p>\n [Closeup of ARTIST, portrayed by me, as he begins to recite color wheel theory.]<\/p>\n ARTIST: “The primary colors are the three pigment colors that can not be mixed or formed by any combination of other colors.”\u00a0 Oh \tjoy, rapture!\u00a0 I have creative talent!<\/p>\n [ARTIST thanks WIZARD, as WIZARD takes John BOEHNER and leads him forward.\u00a0\u00a0 WIZARD pauses on the throne steps — opens a door and takes out a black bag.]<\/p>\n ARTIST:\u00a0 How can I ever thank you enough?<\/p>\n WIZARD:\u00a0 \tWell, you can’t.\u00a0 As for you, my fine \tfriend [turning to BOEHNER] — you’re a victim of disorganized \tthinking.\u00a0 You are under the unfortunate \tdelusion that simply because you run away \tfrom danger, you have no courage.\u00a0 You’re \tconfusing courage with wisdom. \u00a0 Back where \tI come from, we have men who are called \theroes.\u00a0 Once a year, they take their \tfortitude out of mothballs and parade it \tdown the main street of the city. And they \thave no more courage than you have. But!\u00a0 \tThey have one thing that you haven’t got!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" DOROTHY:\u00a0 You’re a very bad man! WIZARD: Oh, no, my dear — I’m — I’m a very good man.\u00a0 I’m just a very bad Wizard. ARTIST:\u00a0 What about us? WIZARD: Well, I — ARTIST: What about the heart that you … Continue reading