Hey, this is Charley again.\u00a0 Maybe you remember me.\u00a0 The de-ranged cattle baron that runs this blog sometimes asks me to take over during the holidays.\u00a0 “Have fun,” he says.\u00a0 Awesome, man.\u00a0 It’s as much fun as building a mud fence, sitting in this cubicle trying to come up with Christmas-time entertainment for the three or four coffee-boilers who read this blog.\u00a0 Sorry if my enthusiasm is making your acid reflux flare up.\u00a0 Eat a peach.<\/p>\n
So here we go.\u00a0 I thought I would share some of the Christmas songs I sing on the range as I wait for an increase in the cowboy minimum wage.\u00a0 I call them I Don’t Carols.<\/p>\n
Silver Hell<\/strong><\/p>\n Silver Bells, Silver Bells Jingle Hell<\/strong><\/p>\n Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Rudolph the Brown-Nose Reindeer Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose Frosty the Snowman<\/strong> <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Frosty the Snowman was a hoppy amped-up soul Little Gunner Boy Hear my guns speak loud Now your Christmas can be just like mine.\u00a0 Until next time – Charley<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hey, this is Charley again.\u00a0 Maybe you remember me.\u00a0 The de-ranged cattle baron that runs this blog sometimes asks me to take over during the holidays.\u00a0 “Have fun,” he says.\u00a0 Awesome, man.\u00a0 It’s as much fun as building a mud … Continue reading
\nIt’s Christmas time in the city
\nRing-a-ling, hear them ring.
\nSoon they will be drowned out by street preachers with bullhorns.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nJingle all the way
\nOh, what fun it is
\nNo, it’s not, it’s really cold out and it sucks.
\nHey hey hey hey hey.<\/em><\/p>\n
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nAnd if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows
\nAll of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names
\nThey never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
\nThen one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say:
\n“Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”
\nThen how the reindeer stomped their hooves and shouted, “Santa’s favorite, eh?”
\nRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer wouldn’t live to see another day.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n
\nWith an old crack pipe, a stuffy nose and two lines made out of blow
\nDown to the village, with some crystal in his hands
\nRunning here and there, all around the square,
\nSaying, “Man, these bugs are crawling all over me!”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nRat-tat-a-tat-tat
\nSecond Amendment proud
\nRat-tat-a-tat-tat
\nMy guns defend this land
\nRat-tat-a-tat-tat
\nNot from my cold, dead hand
\nRat-tat-a-tat-tat
\nTat-a-tat-tat
\nTat-a-tat-tat<\/em><\/p>\n