After careful deliberation, I also have decided not to run for re-election to the House of Representatives in 2014.\u00a0 I know, I know, I am not now a Representative — but I only follow in the footsteps of Michele Bachmann, who is also not very Representative.<\/p>\n
My decision not to run has nothing to do with my prospects for being elected, which are so miniscule as to call to mind the Planck Length<\/a>.\u00a0 (For those of you not versed in physics, the Planck Length is the smallest possible distance between any two points in our universe.)<\/p>\n Physicists rarely get elected to public office.\u00a0 Officials like Ms. Bachmann make a point of the fact that they don’t believe in physics and, without flinching, make statements that turn logic upside down.\u00a0 This is why I cannot run for office in 2014.\u00a0 Like Ms. Bachmann, I have more logical things to do, things that are more lucrative than anything anyone could possibly elect me to do.\u00a0 Michele and I are ready to ring-ding-ding that cash register of fame.<\/p>\n Someone, anyone, call Fox News and tell them I’m available.\u00a0 Sarah Palin had her chance, now it’s my turn to make a few right-wing bucks.\u00a0 Don’t worry, I can dumb it down.\u00a0 Planck Length?\u00a0 Oh, it’s about eight feet, blindfolded.\u00a0 With a parrot on your shoulder.\u00a0 And Barack Obama is forcing us to walk this plank, at swordpoint, to buy health insurance and submit to life-threatening vaccines.\u00a0 Is this insanity or what?\u00a0 Am I hired?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After careful deliberation, I also have decided not to run for re-election to the House of Representatives in 2014.\u00a0 I know, I know, I am not now a Representative — but I only follow in the footsteps of Michele Bachmann, … Continue reading