{"id":5133,"date":"2013-02-11T16:05:16","date_gmt":"2013-02-11T21:05:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/?p=5133"},"modified":"2022-08-01T07:43:15","modified_gmt":"2022-08-01T11:43:15","slug":"i-also-will-no-longer-be-pope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2013\/02\/i-also-will-no-longer-be-pope\/","title":{"rendered":"I Also Will No Longer Be Pope"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This announcement may come as a surprise, or it may come as a thief in the night, but either way, I also have decided to step down as Pope.\u00a0 I bet you didn&#8217;t know there was an Atheist Pope.\u00a0 Well, now you do.\u00a0 The only difference is, we call ours The Nope.<\/p>\n<p>I was elected The Nope seven years ago by some cardinals that landed on our bird feeder.\u00a0 They thought it was a miracle how this wooden box with a perch was always full of seed, enough to feed every bird for miles around, day after day.\u00a0 So the cardinals met in secret and decided that I should keep feeding them, forever.\u00a0 They let the rest of the bird world know their decision by leaving some white drops on my chimney.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/arrividerci.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-5136\" title=\"Arrivederci, Baby!\" src=\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/arrividerci-300x205.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"205\" srcset=\"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/arrividerci-300x205.jpg 300w, https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/arrividerci.jpg 550w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>I made the most of my tenure as The Nope.\u00a0 I enjoyed the company of presidents and kings, and when I no longer enjoyed their company, I would just ask my wife to turn off the television.\u00a0 That&#8217;s right, I have a wife.\u00a0 You are allowed to have one when you are the Atheist Pope.\u00a0 I think you are allowed to have three if you are the Mormon Pope, but I am not infallible on that.<\/p>\n<p>I am stepping down as The Nope to spend more time with family and maybe travel a little.\u00a0 I&#8217;d like to see Rome, for example, without being perched up on <a href=\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/arrividerci.jpg\">this balcony<\/a>.\u00a0 I keep saying, perches are for cardinals.\u00a0 Anyway, <em>arrivederci,<\/em> everyone.\u00a0 And so long to the bubble car!\u00a0 I want one of those <a href=\"http:\/\/www.autoblog.com\/2013\/01\/13\/2014-chevrolet-corvette-c7-stingray-everything-there-is-to-know\/\">new Corvettes<\/a>.\u00a0 In red, of course.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This announcement may come as a surprise, or it may come as a thief in the night, but either way, I also have decided to step down as Pope.\u00a0 I bet you didn&#8217;t know there was an Atheist Pope.\u00a0 Well, &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2013\/02\/i-also-will-no-longer-be-pope\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-interests"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5133"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5133\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13159,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5133\/revisions\/13159"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}