{"id":36071,"date":"2026-03-30T17:09:43","date_gmt":"2026-03-30T21:09:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/?p=36071"},"modified":"2026-03-30T17:09:43","modified_gmt":"2026-03-30T21:09:43","slug":"tiktok-dough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2026\/03\/tiktok-dough\/","title":{"rendered":"TikTok Dough"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

If I had a dog<\/p>\n

I would lead it around<\/p>\n

let it dig in the ground<\/p>\n

and I’d shoot TikTok videos<\/p>\n

of the junk that it found<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I would record its reaction<\/p>\n

to miniscule threats<\/p>\n

creepy-crawly insects<\/p>\n

and its robust response<\/p>\n

to bouncy brunettes<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And if I was lucky<\/p>\n

my dog would find things<\/p>\n

on each of its digs<\/p>\n

that would make every video<\/p>\n

viral-interesting<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Its leaping and barking<\/p>\n

and industrious paws<\/p>\n

would prompt TikTok applause<\/p>\n

Its dog-brand of dogness<\/p>\n

would produce oohs and aahs<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We know every cute dog<\/p>\n

needs a cute name to suit<\/p>\n

I’d name my cute dog Pursuit,<\/p>\n

the perfect name for a dog<\/p>\n

who sniffs out the loot!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

First thousands, then millions<\/p>\n

of my canny canine’s followers<\/p>\n

would earn us top internet honors<\/p>\n

Or in TikTok-ky terms,<\/p>\n

we’d rake in beaucoup ad dollars!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But on some grey TikTok day<\/p>\n

my dear Pursuit would unearth<\/p>\n

not one object of worth…<\/p>\n

and the resulting rude comments<\/p>\n

would snuff out my dog’s mirth<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And thus Pursuit’s missions<\/p>\n

would come to an end<\/p>\n

along with our TikTok dividend<\/p>\n

I would grieve for my dog,<\/p>\n

man’s most lucrative friend.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But it’s not like Pursuit<\/p>\n

and his pursuits would just die<\/p>\n

He’s easy enough to replace with A.I.<\/span><\/p>\n

Reality was good while it lasted<\/p>\n

but we can TikTok it goodbye.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I had a dog I would lead it around let it dig in the ground and I’d shoot TikTok videos of the junk that it found   I would record its reaction to miniscule threats creepy-crawly insects and its … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36071","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-verse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36071","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36071"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36071\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36074,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36071\/revisions\/36074"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36071"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36071"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36071"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}