{"id":3563,"date":"2012-09-30T00:26:53","date_gmt":"2012-09-30T04:26:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/?p=3563"},"modified":"2022-08-01T07:43:17","modified_gmt":"2022-08-01T11:43:17","slug":"on-being-consumed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2012\/09\/on-being-consumed\/","title":{"rendered":"On Being Consumed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/rogers-trump.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3564\" title=\"The Way You Are... Fired\" src=\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/rogers-trump.jpg\" alt=\"The Way You Are... Fired\" width=\"707\" height=\"407\" srcset=\"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/rogers-trump.jpg 707w, https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/rogers-trump-300x172.jpg 300w, https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/rogers-trump-640x368.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 707px) 100vw, 707px\" \/><\/a>Complete the following sentence as it best describes you.\u00a0 You are a product of&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul class=\"cp_bullet blue\">\n<li>(a) your upbringing<\/li>\n<li>(b) your environment<\/li>\n<li>(c) your imagination<\/li>\n<li>(d) what others think of you<\/li>\n<li>(e) I don&#8217;t want to be a product.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>My answer: all of the above and especially the last.<\/p>\n<p>Fred Rogers and Donald Trump.\u00a0 Guys-in-ties with nothing else in common.\u00a0 One tells you that you need only <em>exist<\/em> to be loved.\u00a0 The other sets all sorts of conditions.\u00a0 You have to move to The Big City.\u00a0 Be an extrovert.\u00a0 Work your network.\u00a0 Embrace a single-minded and self-absorbed worldview.\u00a0 And if you fail &#8212; goodbye, you&#8217;re fired.<\/p>\n<p>But <em>I<\/em> want to be liked just the way I am.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t want to have to perform, as one expects of a product, because I am a person.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t deserve to be fired.\u00a0 Like Mitt Romney, I want the right to fire others, but not the other way around.\u00a0 Isn&#8217;t my <em>being<\/em> good enough?<\/p>\n<p>I live in dissonance, denying the tension between my expectations of how others perform (especially when I pay for it, but even when I don&#8217;t) and what I expect of myself &#8212; or, more accurately, what I think others <em>should<\/em> expect of me.\u00a0 (I generally expect more of myself than what I think others should expect of me, but I&#8217;m allowed to do that.)<\/p>\n<p>I am not interested in virtuosity.\u00a0 Except when it comes to products and services I buy, athletes and teams I follow, and those in government who serve and protect me.\u00a0 To name a few.\u00a0 But I myself am no virtuoso.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t strive to be the best at anything I do, because such efforts have a billion-to-one odds of success.\u00a0 I refuse to make the kind of personal investment that greatness requires.\u00a0 Well then, <em>be the best you can be,<\/em> people exhort, when one&#8217;s talents are less than world-class.\u00a0 But what exactly is &#8220;the best I can be&#8221; and for whom would I supposedly be that?\u00a0 For some invisible triumvirate of reality-show judges?\u00a0 What is so wrong with the way I am?<\/p>\n<p>I rebel not so much against the notion of excellence but rather the idea that I am a product to be consumed and that I must compete in the marketplace.\u00a0 That I must have a brand rather than an identity.\u00a0 That not only my worthiness but my very worth is for the market to decide.<\/p>\n<p>Those of us who eat meat appreciate the fact that it has been graded by the government, to indicate its fitness for consumption.\u00a0 If meat were not consumed, those grades would not be needed.\u00a0 Cows could be cows again, if you can imagine what that would be like (they can&#8217;t).\u00a0 That is the essence of it.\u00a0 I could simply be me, if I weren&#8217;t being graded and consumed.\u00a0 And I do try to imagine what that would be like.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<p>I like to produce things that last, and to express thoughts that have some lasting effect.\u00a0 But what is expected from us is to sate the appetite of here-and-now.\u00a0 Such is the tyranny of our culture of consumption and its unrelenting pressure upon us to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2012\/05\/13\/business\/in-e-reader-age-of-writers-cramp-a-book-a-year-is-slacking.html\">feed its gaping maw<\/a>.\u00a0 Publish or perish.\u00a0 Sink or swim.\u00a0 Eat or be eaten.\u00a0 Do or die.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/soup.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-4278\" title=\"Collins Cream of Mediocre Soup\" src=\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/soup-186x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"186\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/soup-186x300.jpg 186w, https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/soup.jpg 299w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 186px) 100vw, 186px\" \/><\/a>At this point I should stop and reassure my readers that, with respect to performance, I do believe in pay based upon services rendered and proportional to the quality thereof delivered.\u00a0 I am not saying mediocrity should be rewarded.\u00a0 Mediocrity has its place: it reminds us how good good is.\u00a0 But when one&#8217;s standing in the marketplace is all anyone cares about &#8212; as measured by the money we make, the house we live in, the connections we have, and all those subtle and not-so-subtle ways we are held to account by our culture of consumption &#8212; success is just a pain in the ass.<\/p>\n<p>A few days ago, in a cross-table chat at our neighborhood picnic, I was asked whether I was trying to get my artwork shown in a local gallery.\u00a0 My answer was no, but I stumbled as I tried to explain why.\u00a0 It is probably because I was embarassed to admit that I don&#8217;t want to enter the competition.\u00a0 It&#8217;s out of my league.\u00a0 I would likely be rejected, because I don&#8217;t have the confidence to sell or speak for my work, regardless of its quality.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Sure, having a gallery &#8220;validate&#8221; my art by electing to display it for six weeks, that would be nice.\u00a0 It would be a bubbly and wonderful ego trip.\u00a0 But I don&#8217;t want it badly enough to pretend to be (or strive to be) something I am not.\u00a0 Instead, I opt to &#8220;make my own rules so that I&#8217;ll win the game,&#8221; as my quietly poetic friend Eric Maatta wrote some decades ago.\u00a0 I will figure out a way to produce and share my art my way,\u00a0 some day, without running that gauntlet of selling myself.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<p>As I was doing research for this topic, I came across a site that echoed and distilled many of my own thoughts: a <a href=\"http:\/\/amateurist.weebly.com\/manifesto.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">manifesto of amateurism<\/a> by Anton Krueger.\u00a0 I am taking the liberty to reprint portions of that essay here, because links tend to be fragile these days:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>The amateurist is interested in singularity, not in mass reproduction\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>The amateurist manoeuvres with complete impunity towards any notions of success which might be measurable in terms of quantity\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em> In whichever plane the amateurist plays, he always operates with total individual freedom\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Oh to be an amateurist!\u00a0 To produce things that last vs. things designed to please the mass appetite: that indeed would feel like freedom.\u00a0 If I only produced those kind of things.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<p>When I was sixteen and about to consider colleges and careers, I argued with my parents about what I would do for a living.\u00a0 I had been enamored with the syndicate columnist <a href=\"http:\/\/thinkexist.com\/quotation\/patriotism_is_proud_of_a_country-s_virtues_and\/339327.html\">Sydney J. Harris<\/a> and the idea of writing a newspaper column of such erudition and wit as he so often expressed.\u00a0 In my naivety, I presumed that the way to become a columnist was to first become a journalist, and so I told my parents that I wanted to major in journalism.<\/p>\n<p>My mom and dad, who offered to pay for my college education, would have none of that. Journalists don&#8217;t make money.\u00a0 We are not going to pay for you to become a &#8220;two-penny journalist,&#8221; they said.\u00a0 If you want us to pay for college, you will be a chemical engineer &#8212;\u00a0 chemical engineers are in demand, they said.\u00a0 (This was 1969, four years before the OPEC oil crisis forced the closing of a large number of U.S. petrochemical plants.)<\/p>\n<p>I acquiesced.\u00a0 I was seventeen and could have done something different, but I didn&#8217;t.\u00a0 Instead I did chemical engineering for thirty years.\u00a0 Could have stepped away any time, but I didn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<p>I have wittingly and otherwise emulated Sydney J. Harris on this blog, especially with respect to his &#8220;Thoughts at Large&#8221; columns.\u00a0 My current hero-of-letters, however, is Christopher Hitchens.\u00a0 For me, he is beyond emulation.\u00a0 In fact, I am so awed by his talent that it can intimidate me from writing, as neither my experiences nor my command of the language compare to his.\u00a0 Krueger drives this point home in his manifesto:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>The crime of specialisation is that it inhibits and prevents people from acting, because if only some can be masters, then the rest must become audience\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>Professionalism thrives on expanding a passive audience\u2026so professionalism can inhibit personal creative expression by threatening the would-be amateurist\u2019s confidence and enthusiasm\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p>As an amateurist, I do have to work to maintain enthusiasm and go forward.\u00a0 As I remind myself, Hitchens could not write this blog (even if he were alive), only I can.\u00a0 After all I am unique (if not special).\u00a0 I am the 100 Billionth Person.\u00a0 No cow can say that.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<p>Our culture of consumption wastes the creative energies of talented people.\u00a0 It distorts our values and changes the kinds of things we would otherwise produce.\u00a0 We need to recognize and support those who respect quality but choose not to be consumed.\u00a0 And we need to preserve the distinction between worthiness (suitability for a particular task) and worth.\u00a0 Mister Rogers may have been a mediocre puppeteer but he knew what he was worth and what we are worth.\u00a0 He told us we were special.\u00a0 I would so like to believe him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Complete the following sentence as it best describes you.\u00a0 You are a product of&#8230; (a) your upbringing (b) your environment (c) your imagination (d) what others think of you (e) I don&#8217;t want to be a product. My answer: all &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2012\/09\/on-being-consumed\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3563","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-commentary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3563","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3563"}],"version-history":[{"count":89,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3563\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28374,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3563\/revisions\/28374"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3563"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3563"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3563"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}