{"id":31600,"date":"2023-12-21T16:05:53","date_gmt":"2023-12-21T21:05:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/?p=31600"},"modified":"2023-12-22T18:40:05","modified_gmt":"2023-12-22T23:40:05","slug":"tip-toeing-through-tipping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2023\/12\/tip-toeing-through-tipping\/","title":{"rendered":"Tip-Toeing through Tipping"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n

It is odd but telling, in a way, how the practice of tipping — under what circumstances and how much — remains a sure-fire conversation-starter among Americans.\u00a0 Our culture is divided on tips: half the time we wonder whether we’re doing it right; the rest, whether we should have to tip at all.\u00a0 And to further muddy the waters, we are often expected to tip for services that are ostensibly free, included <\/em>or have indeterminate value, where percentages do not apply.<\/p>\r\n

We visited our children\/grandchildren in Ohio over Thanksgiving, and we stayed in a Fairfield Inn for our own comfort and convenience.\u00a0 Whenever we stay in a hotel, we try to remember to hang the “No Housekeeping Needed” card on our door handle — but this trip, we forgot to do so the first morning.\u00a0 So we came back to the room that night to find the beds made, but not a full refresh — the ice bucket, trash baskets and coffee cups were not emptied, the coffee packs were not replenished, and used towels were not replaced.\u00a0 It was a “we-were-here” courtesy call at best.<\/p>\r\n

My spouse and I didn’t feel like we needed such courtesy, and so every day after that, we made sure the “Don’t Bother Me<\/a>” tag was on our doorknob whenever we left the room.<\/p>\r\n

Naturally, at the end of our stay, my spouse and I had a minor debate about the proper tip to leave for the housekeeping staff, considering the courtesy<\/em> visit and their final remake of our room.\u00a0 The fact that I won’t recount details of our debate — as interesting as you might find it! — serves to illustrate our cultural issues about tipping.\u00a0 What I will say is: one of us thought we should tip x<\/em> amount, the other that we should tip half that amount.<\/p>\r\n

“Half-that-amount” won the day in this case.\u00a0 Who was right <\/em>cannot be answered.\u00a0 It’s not like there was a 2023 U.S. Labor Dept. Tipping Handbook in the bedside nightstand for us to consult.\u00a0 All we found there was a Bible [1<\/a>] and a Book of Mormon.\u00a0 (Both unread.)<\/p>\r\n

But did either of us venture to open our laptop and search for hotel housekeeper tip 2023<\/em>?\u00a0 No, we winged it.\u00a0 Truth-be-told, we probably wouldn’t have liked what we found.<\/p>\r\n

What is interesting is that our notions of what to tip were based on divergent principles: one of us viewed the housekeeping visits and services rendered as a transaction;<\/em> whereas the other saw the tip as a kind of charitable contribution<\/em>, based on a presumption of the station-in-life of the housekeeper and the mere fact that they showed up, never mind the value of the service provided.<\/p>\r\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

One morning during our stay, I interacted with a staff person at the free<\/em> breakfast buffet, the kind that most mid-scale American hotels now offer in one form or another.\u00a0 You know the deal — pump-dispenser coffee; texture-free bread slices and bagels housed in polyvinyl bread-o-domes awaiting their bleary-eyed tong-extraction and clumsy conveyance to the nearby toaster; eggs, sometimes pre-packaged, assuredly not free-range but if they’re free who cares; and for the kids, a colorful tower of factory-to-bowl Froot Loops.<\/p>\r\n

Come on, admit it, you’ve dispensed a Froot Loops jackpot at least once in your life.<\/p>\r\n

\"\"<\/a>Photo Courtesy of TripAdvisor Visitor<\/p>\r\n

Anyway, one morning I wanted to take a slice of toast back to our room for my spouse, along with my own bagel and coffee, and as I was pondering how to transport everything, the sociable buffet attendant came up to me and kindly offered me a tray.\u00a0 That was a first.\u00a0 I thanked her, accepted the tray, loaded up my items and went on my way.<\/p>\r\n

Now, I happen to think simple things like trays should be (but rarely are) readily available if a hotel wants its patrons to enjoy its humble wares in their own rooms, instead of forcing them to sit at featureless tables among nameless strangers under the droning blather of CNN or Fox News.\u00a0 But I guess that’s just me (and Stephen Sondheim) asking, Where are the trays<\/em>?\u00a0 There ought to be trays!\u00a0\u00a0 Send in the trays! <\/em><\/p>\r\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

All this is accessory to the fact that most complimentary hotel breakfasts feature a tip jar\u00a0 invariably easier to spot than the trays.\u00a0 Being that we can’t carry food back to the room in the tip jar, what are<\/em> we supposed to put in that jar and why?\u00a0 $2 if we exchange glances with the attendant?\u00a0 $2 if we can pump a healthy stream of hot coffee into our cup instead of sputtery-warm dregs?\u00a0 Maybe that’s worth $3.\u00a0 Soon enough it will be $5.<\/p>\r\n

Just another topic not mentioned in the 2023 U.S. Labor Department Tipping Handbook.\u00a0 To think our hard-earned tax money is paying those people for such non-existent advice, says Nikki Haley through her teeth as forcibly as she can.<\/p>\r\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

Okay, but what about the kindly breakfast bar attendant?\u00a0 Did I leave her a tip?\u00a0 Flatly, no. It was too hard for me to make the connection between what the attendant does, how she\/he is employed and compensated and why a gratuity is predicated.\u00a0 A hotel breakfast buffet doesn’t look or feel like a restaurant — it’s basically a self-serve concession area.\u00a0 Shouldn’t a hotel cover the cost of the food and<\/em> the contract labor to provide it, without involving the patron in a so-called complimentary<\/em> transaction?<\/p>\r\n

Again, back to the attendant who offered me the tray!\u00a0 The following morning, I happened to notice a few trays on a countertop ten steps away, which I could have used without help, had there been the same kind of sign pointing to the trays as the one calling out the tip jar.<\/p>\r\n

Send in the trays?\u00a0 Don’t bother, they’re here<\/a>.\u00a0 (Thank you, Mr. Sondheim!)<\/p>\r\n

I ultimately decided that friendliness<\/em> was a basic human trait that does not necessarily call for monetary compensation, even when exhibited in a hotel breakfast bar.\u00a0 But even that calculation gets too complicated.<\/p>\r\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

My thesis is that the typical [2<\/a>] American views tipping not as a utilitarian service charge, nor as a progressive gesture of income equalization, but as a kind of charitable donation that our culture obligates<\/em> us to give to service workers, whether the service was needed or not and whether the service was adequate or not.\u00a0 This creates a tension.<\/p>\r\n

In the early 1900s, wealthy Americans paid tips to encourage<\/em> and compensate<\/em> the delivery of extra services, especially those related to prohibited drinks<\/a>.\u00a0 Thus the practice of tipping in the U.S. became associated with desirable off-the-books transactions for all involved.\u00a0 From there, tips slowly evolved into unreported and (initially) untaxed wage supplements that were gladly embraced by service workers and hotel\/restaurant owners alike.<\/p>\r\n

It now seems to be American Economic Gospel (AEG) that all parties benefit when an ever greater portion of a service worker’s or cab driver’s income comes from tips:\u00a0 it means less of the wage has to be paid by the business owner, which lets the owner post lower prices for their service, which (deceptively) attracts more customers, which generates more sales and more tips!\u00a0 In any case, isn’t it a rule that service is better when a large tip is at stake?<\/p>\r\n

[The preceding message was sponsored in part by The Libertarian Party.\u00a0 Libertarians: Promising the world of your dreams, if you often dream of wandering bleak city-scapes in search of a working pay toilet.\u00a0 Libertarianism: Always your fourth choice<\/a>!<\/em>]<\/p>\r\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

Aside:\u00a0 Long, long ago in a United States of America far, far away, there was something called a punitive<\/em> tip<\/em><\/a> which was universally seen as such.\u00a0 (This is to educate my children, for whom the very idea may be — what, the Greatest Generation and their offspring could be tip trolls?)\u00a0 Patrons who were pissed off about a plate served late, or cold, or without enough cheese, or just to show who’s who in this transaction, would “send a message<\/a>” by leaving a tip so tiny that there could be no mistake how displeased the customer was, and how small the customer was to leave it.<\/p>\r\n

In the early 20th-century, the typical punitive tip was a dime.\u00a0 One asks, why not a penny, since it is worth even less — but a penny doesn’t make a strong enough statement: the coin is dull and easy to overlook.\u00a0 Whereas the U.S. dime is shiny, visible and doesn’t get left behind by mistake.\u00a0 Best yet, the dime is the smallest coin in the realm, giving it additional symbolic bite.<\/p>\r\n

In James Rosen’s wryly-titled book, “Scalia: Rise to Greatness<\/a><\/em>“, the future Supreme Court justice’s tipping ethics, ca. 1970, were disclosed by Henry Goldberg, a Scalia lunchmate:<\/p>\r\n

“Over lunch at the Roger Smith Hotel… Scalia ended the lunch angry.\u00a0 He got into a fight with the waitress… He left her a dime tip.\u00a0 I was appalled and said ‘Gee, let me put some more money.’\u00a0 ‘No,’ Scalia erupted, ‘don’t you dare put any more money!’\u00a0 ‘Well, don’t leave any tip then — a dime is an insult.’\u00a0 ‘That’s just what I want to do!\u00a0 I’m going to put a dime down!\u00a0 That’s the tip!'”\u00a0 Taken aback, Goldberg christened the incident the Dime Lunch and needled Scalia about it the rest of his life.<\/em><\/p>\r\n

My next podcast-length book review:\u00a0 “Scalia: Descent to Smug Petulance<\/em>.”<\/p>\r\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

Strangely, given America’s incoherent mix of social, puritanical and meritocratic strains, both the standard tip and the punitive tip have grown in percentage terms over the years.\u00a0 Regards the standard tip, then-renowned columnist Carlisle Bargeron [3]<\/a> in the Feb. 1951 Nation’s Business<\/em> noted that “the ten per cent tip has, in the course of progress and increased cost of living, gone to 15 per cent” and was now “regarded as basic” except in small towns.\u00a0 Four decades later, Emily Post<\/em> would update the rule<\/a>:\u00a0 \u201cIt wasn\u2019t long ago that 15 percent of the bill, excluding tax, was considered a generous tip in elegant restaurants.\u00a0 Now the figure is moving toward 20 percent for excellent service.”<\/p>\r\n

That was 1997.\u00a0 In 2023, although Emily Post<\/em> continues to cite<\/a> “15-20%” as the suggested sit-down restaurant tip, it’s my experience that the expected<\/em> tip — after a brief stop at 18% — is now a solid 20% without regard to elegance or excellence.\u00a0 The “above and beyond” tip has climbed to 22-25%, which I am sure will soon enough become the new standard<\/a>.<\/p>\r\n

One way to follow tipping trends is checking the gratuity calculations conveniently printed at the bottom of your restaurant tab.\u00a0 If any of you happen to see a 15% tip option printed on your tab, I’d like to hear about it.\u00a0 (And if you do, save it as a keepsake.)<\/p>\r\n

\"Photo<\/a>Tab from a casual dinner in Asheville, Dec. 2023<\/p>\r\n

Now, all-day breakfast places (i.e., diners) operate under different rules — the food prices are relatively low and the service (all those coffee refills!) is often frequent and fast-paced.\u00a0 Breakfast servers make their money based on the number of tables they serve<\/a> and not the modest tips.\u00a0 That’s why I tip more generously at diners — generally 25-35% or a minimum of $5 if it’s just me.<\/p>\r\n

As to punitive tips, the cultural consensus seems muddled.\u00a0 Today’s opinion writers tend to tip-toe around the issue of bad service, as if in denial that it even exists; they tend to advise disappointed customers to voice their concerns to management rather than letting their tip do the talking.\u00a0 The implication is that one should never “penalize” the server.<\/p>\r\n

Writers who do discuss tips for bad service generally mention 15% or 18% as their floor, with 10% as rock-bottom.\u00a0 Personally, I have a hard time leaving less than 18% even when the food is cold or the server seemed to disappear.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Probably because I don’t want to look like a jerk over a few bucks.\u00a0 If I have a bad dining experience, I’m more likely to vote with my feet and not return rather than leave a turd tip.<\/p>\r\n

In my view, the owner is responsible for the patron’s whole experience — it should not be the patron’s job to figure out who to blame among the various persons and teams in an establishment.\u00a0 That is why my “punitive” measure, if you will, is loss of patronage.<\/p>\r\n

This places me in the “tip = service charge” segment of the populace, those who view tips as that part of a server’s wage the owner wants me<\/em> to pay instead of them.\u00a0 For that reason, I rarely deviate from the standard, because my “front of the house” tip has little to do with the overall quality of the experience.\u00a0 It is up to the owner to own it all.<\/p>\r\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

The COVID pandemic created a dilemma in terms of tipping — and a crisis for everyone in hospitality businesses — as sit-down restaurants either closed or had to improvise take-out operations to stay afloat.\u00a0 During the pandemic, we often ordered dinners-to-go from our favorite restaurants and we patriotically tipped the total as if they were sit-down dinners.\u00a0 But once the pandemic faded, I began to recalibrate my tips on take-out.<\/p>\r\n

Everyone draws the lines differently — for take-out, here is how I now draw mine:<\/p>\r\n

\ud83d\udcb2 THE BAGEL STORE.\u00a0 <\/span>We never get “prepared” bagels at Bruegger’s — we just order an assorted half-dozen and bring them home.\u00a0 To me, my calling out six bagels for a person to put in a bag and hand to me does not feel like “service” but lack of access.\u00a0 I could just as easily bag my own if I were allowed behind the counter.<\/p>\r\n

So, I’ve decided to ignore the tip choices displayed on Bruegger’s pay terminal and just click the “No Tip” button.\u00a0 It gets easier every time.\u00a0 I apply the same rule to any place that basically dispenses goods like a market does, without adding thought or time or value.<\/p>\r\n

Side note: Bruegger’s Bagels, Einstein Bros. Bagels, Panera Bread and Krispy Kreme are all owned by JAB Holding Company<\/a>, a German conglomerate.\u00a0 I didn’t know that.<\/p>\r\n

\ud83d\udcb2 PIZZA AND CHINESE<\/span>.\u00a0 Some restaurants, like our go-to pizzeria, were always strictly take-out.\u00a0 Others, like our usual Chinese place, ended table service during the pandemic and never went back.\u00a0 In these cases, “service” consists of a person taking a few steps, handing over your box or bags, and guiding your payment process.\u00a0 During the pandemic, to support service workers in general, I was leaving 20%.\u00a0 But I have since scaled back to 10-15%, that is, $3-4 to be handed a pizza, $5-6 to be handed a bagful of Chinese food.<\/p>\r\n

Why the difference between Bruegger’s and our local pizza shop?\u00a0 Somehow I feel more compelled to tip workers at locally-owned places than corporate ones.\u00a0 Maybe I figure corporate restaurants have deeper pockets and therefore should pay their staff better instead of guilting their customers for tips.<\/p>\r\n

\ud83d\udcb2 TAKE-OUT FROM SIT-DOWNS.\u00a0 <\/span>I also tend to tip a bit more when we order take-out from sit-down restaurants — it feels like I am somehow depriving <\/em>servers from their tips when I elect to take our food home.\u00a0 Again, the 20% I had been tipping during COVID is more like 15-18% now.\u00a0 I’m not sure I can make a logical case for my behavior, but does logic really prevail in tipping?<\/p>\r\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

I could get into all the “incidental” tips involving bartenders, housekeeping, valet parking (never complimentary<\/em> even when it supposedly is), luggage handling, etc., but I will leave advice on those to the 2023 U.S. Labor Dept. Tipping Handbook and other authorities<\/a>.\u00a0 What I would like to close with, however, is the trap that old people can easily fall into when it comes to dollar-denominated tips — once we get the idea that a customary tip is $2, for example, that $2 figure gets stuck in our heads for decades, without regard to its ever-declining value.<\/p>\r\n

In the January 1993 issue of Successful Meetings<\/em>, columnist Deborah Bright included a gratuity guide that covered the common incidentals.\u00a0\u00a0 Her 1993 figures are a bit amusing, but also cautionary.\u00a0 Below are a few of her recommended gratutity amounts:<\/p>\r\n