{"id":2822,"date":"2012-03-18T01:27:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-18T05:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/?p=2822"},"modified":"2022-08-01T07:43:19","modified_gmt":"2022-08-01T11:43:19","slug":"i-also-am-leaving-goldman-sachs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/2012\/03\/i-also-am-leaving-goldman-sachs\/","title":{"rendered":"I Also Am Leaving Goldman Sachs"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have also decided to leave Goldman Sachs, as of midnight Sunday.\u00a0 I waited long enough.\u00a0 It was painful watching those guys rake in hundreds of thousands of dollars, while I sat in the back reading The Wall Street Journal for Dummie<\/em>s.\u00a0 They didn’t care about clients,\u00a0 and they didn’t care about me.\u00a0 To them, I was Johnny the Bagel Boy.\u00a0 Johnny get me this.\u00a0 Johnny get me that.\u00a0 Johnny-Boy, I’ll take a pumpernickel with a low-fat schmear.<\/p>\n

It was never about clients.\u00a0 It was always about food.\u00a0 They always had to have something to eat.\u00a0 It was disgusting, the crumbs on the keyboards, the half-filled coffee cups lined up along the window sills, so that if anyone did jump, he would get drenched on his way down.\u00a0 But any jumper would probably land on me, coming back from the deli with my arms full.\u00a0 It would serve them right, their coffee would be cold.<\/p>\n

They can all starve, those people at Goldman Sachs, for all I care.\u00a0 I never told anyone this, but one day I spit in everyone’s coffee cup as I was going up the elevator back to the office.\u00a0 That was a good one, watching all those pinheads making a million dollars an hour drinking my special blend.<\/p>\n

I hope that all the clients that got screwed by Goldman Sachs can take a little pleasure knowing that Johnny the Bagel Boy was watching out for them.\u00a0 I got ’em good, probably better than the SEC will.\u00a0 Maybe I can get a job at the SEC now.<\/p>\n

Well, thanks for listening to my story, and I hope it goes viral.\u00a0 Yours truly, Johnny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have also decided to leave Goldman Sachs, as of midnight Sunday.\u00a0 I waited long enough.\u00a0 It was painful watching those guys rake in hundreds of thousands of dollars, while I sat in the back reading The Wall Street Journal … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-creativity"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2822","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2822"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2822\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3656,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2822\/revisions\/3656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2822"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2822"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2822"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}