\u2022\u00a0 I read very few novels, no doubt an adharma<\/em><\/a> I will be asked to atone for in my next life.\u00a0 With most novels, I tend to suffer from LCI,<\/em> or Low Character Identification<\/a>.\u00a0 <\/em>For instance, in the last novel I read (Freedom<\/em><\/a> by Jonathan Franzen), I felt no empathy for any<\/em> of the characters, major or minor.\u00a0 Their motives were pathetic: most were carnal, and each was more-or-less an exploitation of the people and opportunities that presented themselves.\u00a0 This post-modern view of human motivation is apparently the new rule, not just in novels but in serial dramas (Breaking Bad<\/em><\/a>) and films (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood<\/em><\/a>).\u00a0 Can a skillful writer no longer imagine a realistically decent, thoughtful, semi-heroic character without imbuing him\/her with a host of dark qualities?\u00a0 Has Batman killed Tom Hanks?<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 Nature Nugget No. 1:\u00a0 Cardinals usually mate for life.\u00a0 Nature Nugget No. 2:\u00a0 On average, cardinals only live for three years.\u00a0 Hmm.<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 It was the summer of 1969.\u00a0 My years-long best friend Bill — of whom I’ve always meant to write an essay — and I were attending summer school at our Pennsylvania high school.\u00a0 This was our school district’s one-and-only means of advanced placement: if you wanted to take, say, pre-calculus in 12th grade, you had to take trigonometry in the summer after 11th grade.<\/p>\n In any event, it was summer (as I said) and one day Bill decided to wear a preppy-looking v-neck knit shirt to school.\u00a0 His teacher objected and Bill was sent back home to change, because of the v-neck collar.\u00a0 It was summer, dammit.\u00a0 And 1969, not 1869, though in our hometown it was often hard to tell.<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 On a recent stop in West Virginia, I heard for the first time someone use the possessive form of y’all<\/em> (it was your’all<\/em>).\u00a0 Now I’m going to be on the lookout (hearout?) for our’all<\/em> and their’all<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 On this day in 46 B.C., Roman Emperor Julius Caesar looked into his mirror and thought, “Have they invented these yet?”<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 Speaking of ancient days, it’s hard to believe that it was once common for restaurants to prepare Caesar salads tableside.\u00a0 My spouse and I recall them — especially the one that we watched our server (also our back-door neighbor) prepare with his bandaged finger.<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 Here’s one from the “been thought of already” chronicles.\u00a0 I came up with the phrase “Armed and Beautiful” and thought it might be a good title for a NRA-type country song.\u00a0 Well, it turns out that this was in fact the title of a 2006 hip-hop EP by Roger Robinson<\/a>.\u00a0 Before that, it was the title of a 2005 photograph<\/a> by Sandie Yi.\u00a0 Before that, well, nothing.\u00a0 Here, I figured the phrase “armed and dangerous” would have inspired all sorts of “armed and…” variations in popular culture.\u00a0 For example, if I had a gun fetish, I could have titled this column Armed and Thoughtful.<\/em>\u00a0 Which, unsurprisingly, hasn’t been used.\n<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 Onions spoil every dish they are in, except onion rings.<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 I’m torn on what to title a future essay.\u00a0 Would it be better to say, The New York Times Should Not <\/em>or Does Not <\/em>Define American Liberalism?<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 War crimes in Ukraine?\u00a0 The war itself is a crime. \u2022\u00a0 In 1984, the company named Apple introduced a personal computer named Macintosh which is the only variety of apple that Apple ever used as a product name.\u00a0 Apple … Continue reading
\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/tree88.gif\")
<\/a><\/p>\nThe rings inside this weathered tree\r\nmark every cloud passed over me<\/pre>\n
\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"