I have a rather small viewport at Facebook, but from the posts and comments I have seen, I am guessing that thousands of women (and even some men) have now declared “me too” with respect to having been subjected to sexual harassment.\u00a0 But one woman’s remarks went further — she doubted whether her declaration (and by extension the “me too” drive) would change anything unless men step up, speak out and end their own complicity.<\/p>\n
I took this as a two-part challenge.\u00a0 The first is to call out such behavior.\u00a0 The second is to examine one’s own behavior, acknowledge it and, as necessary, atone for it.<\/p>\n
\u2022 \u2022 I<\/strong> \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n I was watching the New York Giants vs Denver Broncos football game on Sunday night to see how Denver — a possible playoff competitor of the Pittsburgh Steelers — would fare.\u00a0 Around 10:25 pm, with 8:13 left in the third quarter, I (and millions of others watching) heard this exchange between play-by-play announcer Al Michaels and color commentator Cris Collinsworth:<\/p>\n CC [on the winless Giants, who had a big lead in the game]:\u00a0 Can’t you just see it, that they’re all wanting to touch the ball, they’re all wanting to get engaged in this game tonight.\u00a0 The energy has been fantastic from the start for the Giants.<\/em><\/p>\n AM: And really, in a way shockingly so…\u00a0 Third down and three\u2026 Manning throws and that was knocked down\u2026 by Bradley Roby.\u00a0\u00a0 I mean, let’s face it, the Giants are coming off a worse week than Harvey Weinstein…<\/em><\/p>\n [CC stifles laugh]<\/p>\n AM: … and they’re up by 14 points!<\/em><\/p>\n CC [chortling]: Only my L.A. guy comes up with that one!<\/em><\/p>\n AM [modestly]: Well, you know.<\/em> [Manning is shown trotting off the field.]<\/p>\n CC: There you go!<\/em><\/p>\n AM: All you have to do is read the papers!\u00a0 Any paper.<\/em><\/p>\n CC: Heh heh heh heh heh heh.<\/em><\/p>\n CC [returning to the game]:\u00a0 Well that was a big stop for the Denver Broncos\u2026. looked like the Giants were going to get down there\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n No more is said about this topic for the next 33 minutes of the broadcast.\u00a0 Upon returning from an injury commerical break with 12:38 left in the fourth quarter, Al Michaels hastily slurred out the following, which was interpreted by some as an apology:<\/p>\n AM:\u00a0 Back in Denver sorry I made a reference earlier before tried being a little flip about somebody obviously very much in the news all over the country and… it… was not… meant in that manner?\u00a0 So\u2026 uh\u2026my apologies\u2026 and uh\u2026 we’ll just leave it at that.\u00a0 <\/em>[Denver receiver Isaiah McKenzie is shown being carted off the field.]<\/p>\n CC [helpfully]: Whadya gonna do.\u00a0 Move on!<\/em><\/p>\n AM:\u00a0 Yep.<\/em> [Pause]\u00a0 There is McKenzie\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n And on they did move, the announcers, the network and the NFL.\u00a0 I discovered later that many viewers also moved on, even after foul was cried.\u00a0 A series of Twitter remarks from @TotalProSports<\/a> that evening bears this out (presented in order of appearance):<\/p>\n Kate: Are you serious?!\u00a0 In what world is this acceptable?!\u00a0 Is sexual assault now funny? Did I miss something?<\/em><\/p>\n Saul: It’s a joke. Get over it<\/em><\/p>\n Russ: A bad joke, but a joke nonetheless.<\/em><\/p>\n John: No a hilarious joke depending on how you view life<\/em><\/p>\n Then came the spin.\u00a0 NBC Sports said to Fox News<\/a>, \u201cIt was an inappropriate comment, and was acknowledged with an apology soon after on the telecast.\u201d\u00a0 No, I would not call the words Al Michaels sputtered an apology.\u00a0 I would call it Cleanup on Aisle NBC.<\/p>\n We can be sure that NBC got plenty of blowback about Michaels’ remark in the minutes that followed — enough to make the network tell the producers to tell Michaels to walk back his remark.\u00a0 Which he tried to do without drawing attention to what he was doing.\u00a0 One could hardly understand the words he was saying, he recited them so quickly and with their context purposely obscured.\u00a0 Some apology.<\/p>\n Fox News then claimed in its article that “his broadcast partner, Cris Collinsworth, seemed uncomfortable with the adlib.”\u00a0 No, he did not.\u00a0 Listen to the video — Collinsworth first did a spit-take and then had a good laugh.\u00a0 And later, after Michaels’ so-called apology, it was clearly Collinsworth’s job to close the coffin door and drive in the nails.\u00a0 Move on, he said.\u00a0 Nothing more one can do.<\/p>\n As with Watergate, I am unsure which act was of greater significance, the original deed or its coverup.\u00a0 This episode was a fine illustration of both insensitivity and<\/em> complicity with respect to disrespect for women.\u00a0 Not that the National Football League — which is noted for the acts of domestic abuse by its players — needs more such illustrations.<\/p>\n \u2022 \u2022 II<\/strong> \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n I have never been comfortable with what some men call “locker-room” talk — or the men who talk that way.\u00a0 I have certainly heard enough of it in my lifetime.\u00a0 However, my own response to misogynous remarks has not always been consistent.\u00a0 Although I would voice my objections on many occasions, there were some times I went the un-Collins-worthy Collinsworth route and went along to get along.<\/p>\n Some of the places I worked during my career would now be generally considered to be hostile work environments.\u00a0 Women were ogled and their relative attractiveness graded.\u00a0\u00a0 The presence of professional women in the group was lamented.\u00a0 Diversity training was ridiculed.\u00a0 And men who said anything about such behavior were derided.\u00a0 At times I was treated like a self-righteous moralizer.\u00a0 I began to think I was<\/em> a self-righteous moralizer, and that it was because of this (my fault) that I had no friends.<\/p>\n [A brief aside.\u00a0 I have always been more comfortable around women.\u00a0 Maybe it was all the years at the kitchen sink doing dishes with my mom.\u00a0 Seriously, and not to over-generalize, but I find women are more interesting, better listeners, less prone to use insults as humor, more cooperative, less obsessed with competition and showing off — in short, better at the things I don’t like about men.\u00a0 Two-thirds of my non-family Facebook friends are women.\u00a0 I select women doctors whenever possible.\u00a0 When we get together with other couples, I am always trying to steer the discussion back to four-way conversation instead of the separate man-man and woman-woman dialogs that couples always fall into.\u00a0 And finally, know that my animus toward Kellyanne Conway is based on her lack of principles, not her gender.]<\/p>\n I must save some of my fingers to point to myself.\u00a0 I am no saint.\u00a0 I can recall specific instances (which I will not recount here) when I was patently hurtful and\/or insensitive to a woman as a<\/em> woman, because I was so absorbed with myself.\u00a0 Also, I know<\/em> there were times my behavior or remarks made women uncomfortable without them saying so and without my comprehending it.\u00a0 But I offer no excuses.\u00a0 I am sad what women in America and around the world have had to put up with because they are women, and I regret having had a part in that.<\/p>\n I can’t bury the past, and I cannot do that much about the present save for what I do now. I would like to think I have a more secure set of values these days, no longer inclined to go along with the boys, less concerned about being self-righteous, more about what is right for others of any gender identification.<\/p>\n Material culture — our styles and tastes and technology — often seem to change overnight; in contrast, the practices, attitudes and norms of our culture evolve painfully slowly, even when it is evident how destructive they are.\u00a0 Our culture may behave like a ten-ton truck with a bad gearbox, but someone has to get behind it and push, and someone has to sit in the cab and steer, otherwise we’re not going to make any progress at all.\u00a0 So c’mon, man.*\u00a0 Get out and help.<\/p>\n ________________<\/p>\n I have a rather small viewport at Facebook, but from the posts and comments I have seen, I am guessing that thousands of women (and even some men) have now declared “me too” with respect to having been subjected to … Continue reading \u00a0* For those who don’t watch football, “C’mon, Man!” is the title of a segment on Monday Night Football Countdown, in which poor plays are reviewed and then ridiculed by the hosts.\u00a0 Just trying to reach out to my male readership.<\/h5>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"