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<\/a>\u2022\u00a0 Someone near and dear to me in our household asked me to buy a bottle of Crema de Mezcal for a drink recipe.\u00a0 Now, I have enjoyed many an apertif over the years, but this was like someone collected the discharge of the pipeline Andy Dufresne crawled through in Shawshank Redemption, <\/em>then poured it over a bed of rotten quinoa, whose drippings were distilled ten minutes with a propane torch and then pumped into the air-conditioning system of a 1981 Buick Skylark, which was then driven 2,000 miles through the Ozarks (until the radiator cap blew off) before being filtered through four-day-old gym socks and hand-squeezed into a bowl of dead goldfish.<\/p>\n\u2022\u00a0 Just in case anyone didn’t get the message, you are welcome to what’s left of my bottle of Crema de Mezcal.\u00a0 It’s nearly full.\u00a0 Email me or leave a comment.<\/p>\n
\u2022\u00a0 I keep waiting for someone named Cornelius Horatio Collins to become famous.\u00a0 He will soon realize that no one spells Cornelius right the first time, and this will induce him to knock on my internet door and ask me to sell him the rights to my domain, chcollins.com.\u00a0\u00a0 Cornelius will say, I am sure we can come up with a price.\u00a0 I will say, add a few zeroes and we can start hypertexting over the protocol.<\/p>\n
\u2022\u00a0 I am a determinedly non-vocal participant.\u00a0 I only mouth hymns in church and I would never chant om<\/em> in a yoga class.\u00a0 At dinner parties, of which luckily there are few, I occupy my lips with wine not words.\u00a0 Those who share my affliction are often called introverts<\/em>, from the Latin for turned toward oneself.\u00a0 But a better term for people like me might be introvocative<\/em>, or talking to oneself.\u00a0 And this blog fits the description.<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 It is much easier to tune out of a bad movie on television than it is to walk out on one that you paid to watch.\u00a0 I have walked out on two movies in my lifetime: Trash<\/em> by Andy Warhol (1970) which we saw in a theater in Shadyside (Pittsburgh), Pennsylvania, and 200 Motels<\/em> by Frank Zappa (1971) which was being shown at a drive-in near Wampum, Pennsylvania.\u00a0 Strictly speaking, the latter was a drive-out, not a walk-out.<\/p>\n \u2022\u00a0 It is also much easier to flip the channel on an annoying television evangelist than it is to walk out of a church service — but we have done that also.\u00a0 (Like good Presbyterians, we waited to leave until the congregation stood for the next hymn.) \u00a0 I would be interested to hear the walk-out stories of my readers, if anyone would care to comment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u2022\u00a0 We have a loud, eleven-year-old dishwasher.\u00a0 We call it Moaner.\u00a0 I keep asking Moaner to use its “inside voice” when it’s running, but it just blankly returns my stare and grinds its teeth, like all adolescents do. \u2022\u00a0 My … Continue reading