\u2022 A few days ago, while I was eating habanero ice cream with Satan, The Red One offered to whisk me off to Abbey Road Studios, circa 1967, and sit me down in the control room as Sir George Martin recorded The Beatles performing Strawberry Fields Forever, A Day in the Life,<\/em> and I Am the Walrus.<\/em>\u00a0 This sounded wonderfully tempting to me —\u00a0 but what did Satan want in return?\u00a0 Nothing, really… or maybe everything.\u00a0 “It’s up to you,” Satan said as he ate his last spoonful.\u00a0 “Would you rather hang onto your fantasy or see the reality?”<\/p>\n \u2022 Popcorn is so sad.\u00a0 It’s like you are eating the past tense.<\/p>\n \u2022 If I had My Way<\/em>, I would be rich, or Paul Anka, or both.<\/p>\n \u2022 In my self-appointed role as Potentate of the Point-and-Shoot, I have declared that April is No-Clich\u00e9 Photography Month.\u00a0 In observance of same, I will be refraining from clicking LIKE <\/span><\/strong>on social-media pics of sunrises, sunsets, and rocky cascades of milky-looking water, and I urge you to do likewise.\u00a0 If this goes well, then next year I will add restaurant food, foggy seascapes and scenes of architectural decay to the No-Clich\u00e9 list.\u00a0 That will be tough on me, especially when I am behind the lens.\u00a0 I may have to start shooting cats.<\/p>\n \u2022 A Persian-American woman started a fashion veil business.\u00a0 She designed a new line and traveled to Iran to unveil it.\u00a0 This confused the authorities — she was lucky to escape.<\/p>\n I couldn’t imagine how Spiritual Warfare Jesus’ Way<\/em><\/span> would appeal to children, until I saw the subtitle: How to Conquer Evil Spirits and Live Victoriously<\/em><\/span>.\u00a0 Now I get it — it’s sort of like Harry Potter, with sandals.<\/p>\n \u2022 One morning in America, Ronald Republican was walking his dog.\u00a0 The dog pooped on the sidewalk and Mr. Republican unwittingly stepped in it, soiling his shoes and making them smell.\u00a0 The now-outraged Mr. Republican stormed around, flailing his arms and kicking his feet.\u00a0 But he didn’t yell at his dog for pooping.\u00a0 And he didn’t yell at himself for stepping in it.\u00a0 Instead, Mr. Republican stood there and yelled at the turd.\u00a0 The turd is Donald Trump.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u2022 If I had raised my children without antibiotics, they would be safer to eat today. \u2022 Edgar Allan Poe… who would have guessed he would one day write poetry?\u00a0 We should be glad he wasn’t named Edgar Allan Bigot. … Continue reading ![\"jesus-warfare-book\"](\"http:\/\/chcollins.com\/100Billion\/wp-content\/uploads\/jesus-warfare-book.jpg\")
<\/a>\u2022 As most of you know, Asheville sits in the middle of America’s Bible Belt.\u00a0 The Asheville-Greenville axis has been named the ninth-most “bible-minded<\/a>” area of the country, based on how often people read it and how accurate they think it is.\u00a0 So I should not have been surprised to see Spiritual Warfare Jesus’ Way<\/em><\/span> in the book section of our local supermarket, on the bottom shelf<\/a>, among the children’s selections.<\/p>\n