After all the recent commotion about Hillary’s private internet server, located in her house no less, it made me wish I had a private server in my house.\u00a0 I would say to him, “Oh Cecil, please serve me another sidecar, light on the lemon juice this time, have to nurse my ulcer, you know.”\u00a0 Cecil would look at me and say, “Sir, I am not your server.\u00a0 That machine over there is your server.\u00a0 So get your own sidecar.\u00a0 I am just a figment of your imagination.”<\/p>\n
I would then glance sadly toward the nondescript black tower under my desk, with its blue circular power indicator and constantly running fan, and I would know in my heart that it will never get up off its ass and make me a sidecar.\u00a0 Why I ever named it Cecil, only my empty glass and imaginary ulcer knows.<\/p>\n
That brings me back to Hillary’s private email account.\u00a0 The news reports got me worried.\u00a0 Did she ever email me anything?\u00a0 Will I be be the next Liberal Louie to be subpoenaed by the House Committee on Things We Want to Rub Democrat Faces Into?\u00a0 Will the Feds come to my house and confiscate my computer, my email and my blog, looking for all the cheap shots I took at Republicans?\u00a0 Will they find my secret little Photoshop mashup of Michelle Bachmann’s head pasted onto Alien’s body?<\/p>\n
Just to be safe, I checked my own server to make sure that Hillary had never mailed me anything from her private account.\u00a0 But — sigh —\u00a0 there it was.\u00a0 Now I have to publish it, for the sake of transparency, and to save my own ass.\u00a0 Here you go, Republicans.<\/p>\n
Dear Craig:\r\n\r\nThank you for your interest in my campaign. I am not\r\nrunning<\/del>for anything right now, nor am I running from \r\nanything. But maybe we can join forces someday, if\r\nyou are the kind of man I think you are -- an honest,\r\nstrong-willed, muscular liberal with a big checkbook and\r\na free-flowing pen. Give me a little time and you will\r\nbe able to put that signature where it counts. You know\r\nyou can always get behind me.\r\n\r\nLove to All Humanity, HRC\r\n\r\nSent from my private email account clintonemail.com\r\n\r\n<\/pre>\nWhat can I say?\u00a0 And how can I explain this blog post to my wife?\u00a0 I Better Call Saul.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
After all the recent commotion about Hillary’s private internet server, located in her house no less, it made me wish I had a private server in my house.\u00a0 I would say to him, “Oh Cecil, please serve me another sidecar, … Continue reading