•  If cats ate their weight in mosquitoes every day, I might excuse their existence.

•  Cats would not be as popular if they were harder to spell.

•  The best thing about the musical “Cats” is that there are no actual cats in it.

•  The part of King Joffrey in “Game of Thrones” was originally written for a cat.

•  When cats hiss, it is because the snakes that live inside them are trying to escape.

•  If cats played chess, they would first torment the pieces they captured and then casually drop them at their opponent’s feet.

•  It is no coincidence that the Edison lamp socket is the same diameter as a cat’s tail.

•  We say scat when we see a cat because it isn’t polite to say shit.

•  Cats belong in the wild, where they can satisfy their hunting instincts.  I suggest Mars.

•  There is a special place in Hell for cat-haters — it’s called Heaven.

•  Cats like to sleep in your bed so they can be first in line the day you don’t wake up.

•  No cats were harmed in the writing of this post.  Insulted, yes, but what do they care?