New York Times, January 14, 2015: “Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson, both now bearded, reached the summit of El Capitan’s Dawn Wall on Wednesday, completing a quest that included years of planning and that many considered the most challenging rock climb in the world.” Could I care less? Please, someone give these poor people a shave.
The Reporter, January 12, 2015: “The former head of sailing’s governing body has filed complaints of gross misconduct against the five members of an international jury that handed down the harshest penalties in America’s Cup history. The action comes weeks after the Court of Arbitration for Sport reduced sailor Dirk de Ridder’s suspension from sanctioned events from three years to 18 months. De Ridder was banned from the 34th America’s Cup in September 2013 and Oracle Team USA was docked two points in a scandal involving manipulation of the weight distribution of boats that Oracle sailed in warmup regattas.” Could I care less? If I knew what the point was, I’d dock them two.
The Japan News, January 9, 2015: “A metal screw was found in a bento meal box made by restaurant operator Watami Co.’s food delivery service arm, it was learned Thursday. The meal box was produced at Watami Takushoku Co.’s plant in Yamaguchi Prefecture on Oct. 29 last year and delivered to a customer the following day.” Could I care less? Only if the customer ate the screw, thinking it was a delicacy from a harpooned whale.
The Telegraph, January 10, 2015: ” ‘If I’d known David Attenborough 40 years ago,’ Cameron Diaz rather startlingly confessed to me last year, ‘he might have been the one man to tame me.’ As it turned out, it was Benji Madden – a diminutive, tattooed, shaven-headed rocker with more paunch than one of Attenborough’s quirkiest marsupials – who was finally able to make that claim. After an eight-month long romance, the unlikely pair wed last Monday under a Chinese lantern-lit marquee in Diaz’s Beverly Hills back garden.” Could I care less? Only if I were lucky enough to be David Attenborough.
The Citizen-Times, Asheville, January 8, 2015: “With the opening of Chipotle on Hendersonville Road, there’s an awful lot of chatter about whether eating there is worth the wait. We decided to weigh — literally — Chipotle’s burritos along with seven other similar offerings. Each burrito restaurant we checked out had to meet the following criteria: they had to offer carryout burritos, the kind of thing you get in a paper sack with a fistful of chips. Each restaurant had to offer a basic chicken burrito, the second-most ordered item on Chipotle’s menu, after the Chicken Burrito Bowl. And they all had to be open on Jan. 2. Sadly, that disqualified Grey Eagle Taqueria; the floor was being waxed and restaurant was closed on burrito judgment day.” Could I care less? I’m not sure I could care less than this reviewer, who seems to think the quality of the food doesn’t matter if the restaurant is closed when she shows up.