Thoughts at Large: 12

• I recently learned that I have “Cool Dad Syndrome.”  From what I read, it can’t be cured.  Sorry, kids.  (But that is just what a Cool Dad would say.  Sorry again, kids.)

• Our galaxy, the Milky Way, is shaped like a pinwheel.  It rotates once every 225 million years or so.  This means it has made about 60 revolutions in the lifetime of the universe.  Bottom line: do not buy a Milky Way pinwheel to entertain a bored child.

• Speaking of celestial bodies, I am about to complete my 60th revolution around the Sun.  This is because I have successfully avoided collisions with meteors and asteroids.

• Things I no longer do, some by choice, others by necessity or circumstance:  Play catch. Read Maureen Dowd.  Watch MSNBC.  Drink orange juice.  Make tuna-noodle casserole.  Work in a factory.  Walk on the roof.  Play the guitar.  Use semicolons.

• America seems to love its entrepreneurs, especially the hipster entrepreneurs, those who create new apps and sleek gadgets and objects of art and/or convenience out of recycled coffee stirrers and yesterday’s tomatoes.  We hand you our money if you widen our eyes.

• In my parents’ house, there were such things as a 50-year-old working refrigerator, 30-year-old dial telephones, and a 1962 aqua tabletop radio that my mother listened to until she moved away in 2007.  So when I bought my first film camera, I figured it would last 10 or 15 years.  It didn’t.  Nor did the next one.  Nor did the one after that.  Nor did the digital camera that replaced it.  Nor will the one I just bought to improve on the first.  After all this time, I still have not come to terms with the two-year lifespan (or less!) of present-day “consumer electronics.”  A raspy voice in the recesses of my brain tells me that every device I buy should be a sturdy Bell telephone — something without a version number in its name.  I can safely say that my children will never share my sense of the (possible) durability of things.

• This thought is intentionally left blank.

• My next book will be titled, “The Place of Imagination and Yearning.”  So, what do you think it should be about?

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One Response to Thoughts at Large: 12

  1. emily says:

    1) if you believe you have “cool dad syndrome” (CDS) from taking an online quiz or visiting a yahoo forum, you may not actually be afflicted with CDS. you must first talk to your children, who can properly evaluate your symptoms.
    2) i have been missing a string on my guitar for quite a few years, but still try to make due without it. i dreamt (sic) the other day that i was playing an awesome song, but then realized my string was missing and it really put a damper on my awesome dream-song. i have the intention of replacing this string, but i am kind-of holding out for a set from the music store in webster. i don’t think i’ve bought strings from anyplace else!
    3) my technology is much like the apartment in which i live. old, but serves its purpose. so what if i have to press a button on my deskjet printer everytime to print the last page, or that my remote control buttons were chewed away two rabbits ago. grandma lottie’s osterizer blender also still works great!
    4) what was the title of your first book?

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